tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13248714466610463352024-03-21T10:08:53.198+00:00Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog UKSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.comBlogger117125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-5850364618737515812016-01-28T16:27:00.000+00:002016-01-28T16:27:39.179+00:00Normality<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Bev</em></strong><br /><br />Normality is a variable concept. Once you've had news that shatters your sense of 'normal' you have to learn to adapt and find that 'new normal', or else your sense of self will be obliterated. This is a common thing that seems to happen to us ladies when we've been given the news that we have cancer.<br /><br />Initially you are caught up in what seems to be a whirlwind as you are sent for various tests and have to attend many appointments. Generally most of us were fit and healthy individuals who had little contact with health professionals – yet all these hospital visits strangely become our 'new normal'. In fact it was spending so much time in hospital that made me want to work as a nurse again...but that's just me. I think most of my friends hated being there!!<br /><br />When you get your treatment plan your 'new normal' shifts yet again. You live in three weekly/weekly) cycles when the poisonous chemotherapy drugs are pumped into your body; you submit yourself to the hands of the surgical team who – you hope – will remove the offender from your body; and you allow intense beams of radiation to fry the damaged parts...all in the hope that this will kill the perpetrator and prevent it from ever coming back.<br /><br />After all the so called 'active' treatment is finished you may find yourself taking other drugs to help keep the cancer from returning. Or you may still be a frequent user of the health services due to side effects of the treatment. This is now your 'new normal'.<br /><br />It's often hardest once all the treatment is completed and everyone thinks that you're all better. You start to look less ill, your hair grows back and it seems it's all in the past. I so wish that was the case. For me the after effects from treatment are quite mild compared to others. I wake up every morning with numb hands (which makes turning the alarm clock off interesting when you can't feel the button!). I have less energy than I did BC (before cancer), although I have more good days in between, and I'm hoping this will continue to improve. My brain seems to still be lagging behind. I have paper all over the house with lists and reminders on it...and I often get halfway through a conversation when I forget what I'm talking about, or forget the name for something. 'Chemo Brain' is recognised by the medical profession.<br /><br />But despite all this, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. The alternative is a much less attractive proposition. This is my 'normal' now. Trying to adapt to this new life I have and all that goes with it.<br /><br />What I am most envious of from my 'old' life is that I didn't have the worries and anxieties. If I hurt somewhere it was just 'normal'...maybe it was a pulled muscle from overdoing it, or I'd slept at an odd angle and it made my neck hurt.</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now my first thought is cancer. I seem to have a 'fast track' pass to the hospital...anything you have reason to see a doctor about – they'll be looking for cancer too. I don't think it helps that you will never get a bit of paper saying that you're all cured, it won't ever come back. It’s a little bit like a time bomb waiting to go off. My hip aches...it's spread to my bones. I have a headache...it's in my brain. I'm not alone in this either. I'm sure between the lot of us my beautiful tribe have convinced ourselves that we have got cancers and illnesses that probably don't even exist! Having cancer not only affects your body, but it messes with your head big time. 'Normal' people don't think like this do they? I certainly never used to think like this BC and I'm sure most of them didn't either. This is the 'new' normal we are trying to live with.<br /><br />Of course, we don't all spend our days sitting worrying about this. We do try and carry on and fit in (when we can) with everyone else's normal...going to work, looking after the children, having holidays, going to parties etc.<br /><br />We celebrate things that other people would think odd. Say if somebody went for a bone scan and results came back showing they have arthritis...we’d cheer those results. It's not cancer – yay! BC this would have seemed rather strange.<br /><br />Sadly, for some of my friends their 'new' normal is the one none of us wants. They have stage 4 cancer. Metastatic cancer. Secondaries. That means it is incurable. Medical advances mean that there is a chance that the cancer can be stabilised with medication and they may live for a long time...but that 'terminal' word is always hanging over them. Their clock ticks a little bit faster and a little bit louder.<br /><br />This week our tribe were all rocked to the core upon learning that one of us had been given this very news. Obviously we are all devastated that another of our friends has to undergo further treatment. Sadly it is not an uncommon occurrence in this new world we inhabit. At this time we aren't sure of the extent of the spread or what plan is to be put in place. We are all anxiously waiting to hear.<br /><br />Nowhere else have I witnessed such an outpouring of sadness and love and heartfelt wishes that flowed upon hearing the news. The total togetherness was absolute. I think it true to say 'if one bleeds, we all bleed'. That is very much our mentality. However after the shockwaves diminished, we set about doing what we do best, rallying round and offering our unconditional support both practically and emotionally. <br /><br />Whilst it is fair to say that what we can actually do is limited, what we can offer is limitless. Our 'normal' has shifted once again to encompass this new news. Our energies are now spent on buoying each other up, helping those who are drowning a little to stay afloat, and loving each other that little bit harder. We can't allow ourselves to be dragged down...we have to help each other ride out the storm, wherever it may take us and them. We have to keep OUR normal and not borrow theirs. That helps nobody.<br /><br />In an ideal world my 'normal' would be just like everyone else's, and I would have little knowledge of what I know now. But then I suppose everyone has their own demons. And without this constantly changing 'new normal' I seem to live in, I wouldn't have my tribe. And whilst I wish that I hadn't had to meet them I am so very glad that I did. They can make what others see as abnormal seem all right. I would be totally lost without them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-72032036706420159602016-01-11T16:13:00.004+00:002016-01-11T16:13:34.984+00:00As the new year approaches<div style="border-image: none;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Tamsin</em></strong> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As 2016 approaches, everyone’s eyes are firmly on the new year’s horizon - the sparkling glimmer of an exciting future and the limitless possibilities that lie ahead. It’s a chance to move on, to forget past mistakes and hurts - to close one chapter in our lives and start another. The new page is tantalisingly fresh, not yet marred by typos, blots or smudges. I don’t need to buy a magazine or newspaper in January to know that the pages will be filled with advice on this year’s latest diet and exercise regimens, with their promises of energy, vitality and a long, healthy life; as though food and fitness are talismans which ward of the ‘evils’ of illness, disease and ageing. <br /><br />But 2015 has been a kind year to me - it’s the first year since my first diagnosis of cancer that I have enjoyed stability in my health. And it’s been amazing! I am filled with gratitude to be alive, something of a small miracle considering I have had two bouts of cancer treatment over more than two years, including 11 months of chemotherapy for an aggressive breast cancer, 6 ½ weeks of radiotherapy, more surgeries than I can remember, although three stays in a high dependency unit were memorable for all the wrong reasons! As I sit here writing, I realise that this will be the first new year since 2009 when there hasn’t been treatment or a major decision - about preventative or corrective surgery - ahead of me, with all the accompanying fear and uncertainty. <br /><br />It’s been a year of milestones, but not ones that are easy to share - it’s been the year that I finally started buying full-size bottles of shampoo (having gone through hair-loss and re-growth twice, hair-care has been a never-ending series of experiments), got to grips with my new, changed, half-breasted body with its lymphodema and early menopause symptoms. It’s been the year that I began enjoying being around babies and toddlers (even baby George) instead of nursing the grief of my lost fertility and where I’ve felt I could trust myself to cry openly at my daughter’s school concerts instead of sobbing silently into my pillow in the middle of the night.<br /><br />One of the ways I’ve coped with cancer has been to stop looking too far ahead - ‘the future’ has become something to fear; I am always on guard, my defences at the ready in case I need to deal with another set-back. But as much as cancer has taken from me, I have taken something from cancer too - I’ve learned that I am loved, that I am resilient; that I am lucky (as well as unlucky). These were the easy lessons, what I call ‘my silver-linings.’ But, there were bitter lessons too, for instance the discovery that ‘patient’ means ‘the ability to accept suffering without becoming upset’ has been an experience which has taken me to the outer limits of my soul. As Thomas Wolfe wrote from his hospital bed in 1938 - <em>‘I’ve made a long voyage and been to a strange country, and I’ve seen the dark man very close; and I don’t think I was too much afraid of him, but so much of mortality still clings to me.’</em><br /><br />Most of us have been confronted with our mortality at one time or another - maybe you’ve been in a near-miss while crossing the road, or driving your car. You are really quite shaken and you tell your friends, maybe your partner, who give you a hug, make you a cup of tea. Maybe your boss sends you home to recover. Maybe that evening, you find yourself thinking ‘what the hell, I’m buying that expensive bag’, maybe you decide to go on that trip of a life-time, or maybe you just want to sit quietly and be thankful you survived. This feeling might stay with you for a few days or weeks, you might be more forgiving of the irritations we all face in our daily lives for a while, but we move on and forget.<br /> <br />For me, living with a cancer diagnosis - without being told I am cured and living with high risk - is a bit like knowing that out there is a car waiting for me. It’s somewhere on the road ahead. I don’t know whether or when it might race towards me; I wonder whether I will see it coming or whether it will come without warning. If I am lucky, it will miss me. I hope. I really hope. Living with breast cancer has meant passing through a doorway into what has felt like a parallel world where my awareness of what it truly means to be mortal is brought into sharp focus. I am afraid of the long voyage and the strange country but I have learnt to accept that my fears are just a small part of the gap between the person I was and the person I am now. Fear isn’t a constant anymore and though it ebbs and flows like the tide, it reminds me that I am a ‘human being.’ So, I won’t be disheartened if I find I have abandoned many of my goals before the end of the month. Instead I will show myself the same compassion I would a beloved friend. I want to try to learn from my mistakes and to be content with my small and faltering steps forwards. After all, New Year’s Day may be a special day, but it’s also only one day amongst 366 other days this year (it’s a leap year) and each one is a new day, a new year, a new beginning and a chance to start anew. </span></div>
Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-46531168709714724812016-01-07T13:09:00.001+00:002016-01-07T13:09:27.249+00:00I don't believe<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Eve</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today was Boxing Day , two years ago I celebrated it with a pint or two of FEC-T, for those of you reading who don't know what this is, in a nutshell it's a pink chemo drug that beats the complete shit out of you..... so much so even typing the words brings an involuntary retch to my throat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Fast forward two years on, the festive season is ending and I suppose we all reflect, I know I have and I have had a few epiphanies....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />My babies are growing fast, I suspect this is the last year Santa will be left mince pies and it makes me sad, they are starting to have their own opinions, their own thoughts and believe in their own way of thinking which as a mother of girls is a tough one. I don't believe in Santa is the one line I won't want to hear next year but I hope with all my heart I will be here to hear it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />The mothers from my group who never made it are constantly in my thoughts. Their babies are 'celebrating' Christmas without their mumma. My heart aches with sadness when I think of them all. A cruel roll of a dice that made them unlucky. There are at least 9 children I know who have lost their mum to breast cancer. To know you are leaving your children must be the worst pain imaginable.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />And so I have to replace those thoughts, put something in their place that means I don't burst into tears because my eldest rolls her eyes at Santa, I am there to see it, to feel it, to breathe it in and to wrap my arms around her still, which despite her protests at my display of over excited Elf emotion I do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Having girls you worry about weather they will go through what you have? I have told them to have mastectomies, I figure prevention is the biggest weapon I have and boy am I going to bloody use it for them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Back to my epiphanies... brought on by the emotions of Christmas and the cruel blows delivered to the online ladies going through treatment.....<br /><br />Little girls are fed bull shit, I have decided, and I have also decided that I for one will not be filling my daughters heads with such bollocks.... The following apply and I will write it in a book if they want me to.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />I do not believe in the following .....<br /><br />Things happen for a reason <br />(What a load of crap! Like you are meant to get illness and sorrow)<br /><br />Just wait, karma will deliver <br />(Again, bull steaming shit, no it doesn't, no one gets what they deserve, the rich get richer, the bad prosper and the good get taken advantage of and the sweetest, gentlest people have some terrible 'karma' delivered) <br /><br />You are only given what you can handle <br />(Load of ...... You handle what you are given and put your gloves on and punch, you didn't receive it because you were stronger than Thelma the class shy girl) <br /><br />Good things come to those that wait <br />(ha ha, yeah right, excuse me while I run in front of you cus if I don't get it for myself, it just ain't gunna happen, sit there if you want but I'm off ) <br /><br />I could go on but you probably think I am a bitter old hag, I know I am not. As a mother of girls I will bring them up with an inner strength, a mental strength that gives them power, power to make their bubble happy, to find true friendships and real love, the type that is not contaminated with fairy tale cliches that somehow justify suffering and pain and other people treating them like doormats. The only way to do this is to lead by example, to show them , for all the ladies that desperately wanted to but can't, I will . </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />And Santa will still get his mince pie even if my girls laugh at me, just because I can.<br />X</span>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-78565266578792684342015-11-28T12:29:00.002+00:002015-11-28T12:30:27.015+00:00Friends<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Bev</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Oxford English Dictionary says that a friend is 'a person that you know well and like'. Since being diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2014 I'd like to challenge that definition...my friends are so much more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When you get your diagnosis your world shifts on its axis. Nothing is the same as it was before. Everything is different. You are not the same person you once were.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now don't get me wrong - those I classed as my friends before cancer are definitely still my friends now...the support offered to me and my family during the last year has come from old and new friends. It often surprised me who withdrew a little and who stepped up to the mark to make that difference. Maybe it shouldn't have done. I understand that being around me may have made people realise their own mortality, and that this is often something people shy away from. I don't blame anyone for trying to preserve their own sense of being. I can't say that I would have done the same were the roles reversed, but I love all my friends for their differences and if everyone acted the same all the time the world would be a much duller place. There is great beauty in our differences and I would never expect anyone to be someone they weren't on my behalf. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During the period between my diagnosis and the beginning of my treatment I refused to Google...I was pretty au fait with all the medical jargon having trained as a nurse and midwife (although I think my poor husband was undergoing a mammoth learning curve!). I trusted that my doctors knew what they were doing and would plan what was best for me. However, a lady on a Facebook group pointed me towards the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork/" target="_blank">Younger Breast Cancer Network UK</a>. It was a couple of weeks before I felt ready to sign up...but I'm oh so glad I did. I'm sure my Macmillan breast care nurses had their lives made easier as well as I learnt most of what I know from lovely ladies on YBCN! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sitting in the breast clinic I felt so very young...everyone else there seemed at least 20 years older than me. Here (online), all the ladies were under 45...I'd found my new friends who would sustain me through the next year. There were ladies who had just been diagnosed, ladies undergoing chemotherapy or radiotherapy or surgery, and ladies who had finished all their treatment and were just there to offer advice and support. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There was a group of ladies who all had similar time frames to me, and there was always someone online 24 hours a day 7 days a week. And we told it how it was...you know – all the things the medical professionals don't tell you. All the things that make you sit at home thinking 'is it just me?' And when you're not able to get out and about because you've just had surgery or are recovering from your latest chemo session, these ladies are all there. Nothing was out of bounds and there was lots of tears and lots of laughter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There was one lady in particular who I chatted to quite a lot. She was diagnosed a couple of days after me and we had all our treatments within a couple of days of each other. We were 'chemo twins'. Once we'd finished our active treatment we celebrated together, and finally met in person to share a few drinks and hugs in September this year at a <a href="https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/support-you/local-support/younger-women-together" target="_blank">Breast Cancer Care Younger Women Together</a> event. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Our bodies were still recovering from all the harsh treatments, but we could start planning the future. In fact, <a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/2015/10/breast-cancer-awareness-month-winning.html" target="_blank">my friend wrote a poem about that very subject on this blog</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Over the last few weeks my friend was told the cancer had spread to her lungs. It was now incurable, but with drugs she may be able to extend her life. She was taken into hospital a couple of weeks ago. I sent her regular messages and sometimes she replied, sometimes she didn't...but I just wanted her to know I was thinking of her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Last week she was moved to a hospice. Now these places aren't always doom and gloom. They are a much more homely place to be stuck in than a hospital, and their medical teams are second to none. They help people to live with illnesses – they are not just places to go into and never come out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I made a box up and posted it to her. It was not much, but it was just full of things that I hoped would make her smile and know that she was being thought about. I don't know if she ever got to see my box. Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things – she knew she was loved.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My last message from her was Tuesday. She knew that her time was limited. I was so saddened on Sunday when I received a message saying that she had passed away on Saturday evening. Everything seemed to happen so very fast. In fact, I drunk a lot of wine and had a bit of a meltdown...something I'd not really done since my diagnosis. Life is so unfair and cancer is so cruel. Two more children left without a wonderful Mother.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She is not the first friend I have lost but she was my closest. Love you lady - you will be in my heart always.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My first instinct was to tell all my friends (we now have our own little group away from YBCN where we talk about everything and anything) – they were her friends too. To know that even in this I wasn't alone helped immensely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You know when you say or do something and then stop and think that it's just you – nobody else can possibly feel like this / do this? Well this bunch of ladies just get it. They've all been through what I've been through. Yes everyone has very different experiences and we're all individuals. But I have told them things that nobody else knows...and vice versa. When we meet up in person – which I have done already with some of them, and am so looking forward to doing in a couple of weeks when we have a mass meet up to celebrate Christmas and remember our friends no longer here – there is none of the awkwardness of meeting new people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Because we know each other. We know so much about each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm sure that I would never had crossed paths with many of these amazing ladies had I not had cancer. We are all so very different, but also all the same. So in a way I am grateful to cancer for forcing me down a different path to that which I had planned. Now my plans have changed. I plan on living life to the full, spending time with my family and making many new memories. I plan on doing it with the lovely friends we have all lost along the way at the forefront of my mind...it is wrong to waste your life when there are those who are no longer here and tried so very hard to stay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Chatting to my new friends is a daily occurrence. Distance is irrelevant online. And when we discuss things there is no need for explanations. I am my new me. I don't need to pretend to be someone else, or pretend to be the person I was before cancer. I'm the same person I was but very, very different. I love all my 'new' friends and having them at the end of my fingertips is invaluable. I don't feel different because I've had cancer. There is none of the sympathetic head tilts or gentle questioning or avoidance of subjects that often come from friends after a cancer diagnosis. I think a lot of it is down to not wanting to upset the person. But with these ladies we have no subject that can't be discussed. All of us has stood face to face with our own mortality and I really wouldn't wish that on anyone of my 'other' friends. I hope against hope that none of them ever have to cross the line I have crossed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We laugh a lot. I've learnt lots of new (rude!) words. We cry sometimes. We love deeply always. With these ladies I am just me. I am home. I cannot imagine being without them. I love them fiercely.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have found my tribe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-15196288597359087662015-11-24T16:57:00.000+00:002015-11-24T16:59:20.792+00:00Happiness and Love<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Anonymous</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">BD - ( that's what I call it now , before diagnosis) I would liken myself to Dave the minion. I would walk around in complete ignorance of the world really ......funny because now I think I'm more like the Dalai Lama but with more clothes and less tolerance. How does he not swear, I must fucking work on that one ...<br /><br />I love deeper, I mean REALLY love deeper, I tell my daughters hourly I love them, if they sneeze "Bless you sweetie, mumma loves you." They usually roll their eyes and say "tell me something I don't know", then wipe the snot on my sofa ...... but I do it anyway, "Mumma love you but don't wipe your snot on my sofa" ........you get me? <br /><br />I'm kinder, I look at people and I will try to help. Be it small like giving the Big Issue guy a Greggs pasty and his dog a chewy (they usually swap cus there's more meat in the chewy) I no longer walk by. I don't do it for thanks - no point most people have no manners, I do it because it nurtures my soul. <br /><br />I am more sensitive, since diagnosis I have noticed how people abandon you, who knows why? Maybe they think they can catch it? Maybe they think they need to protect themselves from the pain of possibly losing you? Maybe it was my nutty phase that made me difficult to be around from being poisoned, burned and butchered, who knows? That's about as much thought as I am going to give that one, see below ......<br /><br />I forgive quicker, hurt me (boy have I been hurt since diagnosis) and yes I will react like the black widow but I will also walk away with no resentment, I am clearly wasting my time and emotions on you so I am off. Turrah! <br /><br />My senses seem to be heightened, I smell the leaves I feel the sun on my face, I stroke jumpers in shops! Food tastes different to how it used to and I have an inner leprechaun that freaks completly if it sees a beautiful rainbow, nature is truly beautiful you just have to stop and look. <br /><br />I pray more, I have my Catholic faith, it's personal to me, I am not overly strict in my practice of it but I don't judge you if you do not have one, challenging my belief will not change mine, mine gives me peace it gives me a inner calm at the most challenging of moments. I do not see badness as a punishment from God, it just is, life is very unfair. I have never quite understood why faith causes such arguments it is so sad, or why you would want to deny me my faith and the comfort it gives me, then marry and baptise your children, (which is a holy sacrament) in a church, those in glass houses and all that. <br /><br />I constantly think and challenge, why ? Why did that person do that? Why am I doing this? why do my bones ache so much? What was that twinge? Stopping the waterfall of thoughts is frustrating and a daily battle. <br /><br />What am I trying to say, I don't really know myself , chemo brain never allows me to complete my cycle of thought beyond that of a goldfish, what was I saying again? I think I'm saying enjoy the moment, like so many ladies in my situation and far far worse, enjoy it, find the happiness, give the happiness and never ever, ever, stop loving. <br /><br />PS I love you girlies ....... well it has been ten minutes! x</span></div>
Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-65684362551741200112015-11-15T13:00:00.001+00:002015-11-15T13:00:39.811+00:00To the man on the train<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><strong>Author: Anonymous</strong></em><br /><br /><em>The idea for this post came about when I found myself sitting between several people reading an article about the ‘No Less a Woman’ campaign (in which I feature). I imagined myself having a conversation around some of the - upsetting - comments I later saw posted about the article.</em><br /><br /><strong>Man on the Train</strong><br /><br />I was sitting next to you on the District Line last Wednesday, reading the Evening Standard over your shoulder. I know it was irritating – sorry. I just couldn’t help myself. I saw my topless photograph on page 11 in the article about ‘No Less a Woman’ - the collaboration by Stella McCartney and Laura Dodsworth to highlight breast cancer awareness. It’s not every day you see a picture of yourself half-naked in the newspaper! I blushed didn’t I? It sounds crazy, but there was this awful split-second before I realised that neither you, nor anyone else in the carriage would know that I was one of the three women in the article because our identities were not revealed.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXSD57rhJ7dG3f2bPTU4zCrQ4vIX3Qqo5FwaQIh4j9DYqJfuYKfjyvmvQHJ39DYC45O6P1mE3772rUFM4BXgn3Laq-LoNwO3SeFhxZSOnIXCKqYgGoinqHwLnK4Wg9LrAPnGx1SEssxNJ7/s1600/anon+To+The+Man+On+The+Train.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXSD57rhJ7dG3f2bPTU4zCrQ4vIX3Qqo5FwaQIh4j9DYqJfuYKfjyvmvQHJ39DYC45O6P1mE3772rUFM4BXgn3Laq-LoNwO3SeFhxZSOnIXCKqYgGoinqHwLnK4Wg9LrAPnGx1SEssxNJ7/s400/anon+To+The+Man+On+The+Train.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />I noticed that you looked at the images for a long time. It’s okay to be curious. We wanted you to know what mastectomy scars look like; to better understand the impact of breast surgery on women’s bodies. Sadly, not everyone gets to have neat scars and beautifully reconstructed breasts despite the wonderful advances in surgery. Not everyone can have a tattoo over their scar. Radiation treatment, for instance, can cause invisible, but long-term damage to the skin.<br /><br />It didn’t cross your mind that you were sitting next to one of the women in the feature? You didn’t think I looked like I had breast cancer? It’s hard, but we all need to remember to try not to make assumptions about how people look, sometimes people can be ill, even when they look great. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can’t understand why I wanted to show my scars? To be honest, I would never have agreed to have a topless photo before I had breast cancer. I took my breasts for granted. I didn’t see them as emblematic of my womanhood and femininity. I was sad to say good-bye to them when I decided to have risk-reducing surgery but when a reconstruction failed, and I got cancer again, I was devastated. Around 1 in 8 women in this country will develop breast cancer and 11, 000 women still die every year. I heard cancer described as ‘sexy.’ I hope these images will help people to understand that cancer is not sexy and they will have a better appreciation of this disease. <br /><br /> I worry that my daughter’s generation will struggle to develop a healthy relationship with their bodies if they are only surrounded by airbrushed images of idealised women. I worry that we are in danger of denying the truth of who we are if we carry on holding such unrealistic expectations, not just about our breasts, but about our bodies and the control we imagine we have over them. <br /><br /> Please don’t call me ‘brave.’ I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. But if you must feel pity, turn that emotion into a verb – do something to help, even if it’s just making a donation to charity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Were </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you shocked? If you were, then it gives you some insight into how I felt for a long time. Nudity is something of a taboo in our culture, but to bare an imperfect body, a scarred body, feels like the final taboo, one that I wanted to shatter by showing off my body in all its flawed glory. My scars might be hidden from you, but I see them and they tell the story of my body, of my courage and strength. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /> </span><a href="http://www.stellamccartney.com/gb/lingerie_section"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://www.stellamccartney.com/gb/lingerie_section</span></a>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-50577414582646974882015-11-15T12:33:00.003+00:002015-11-15T12:33:46.786+00:00My English Cancer<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Sandra M</em></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hola amigos,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have never dared to write a post for the blog simply not
just because I didn't want to say things, just because I thought my foreign
English wouldn't do justice to all the things I would like to say. However now,
I have been learning that my cancer is proper English, with its proper RP
accent, with the London look, like a Londoner accent. My cancer was born in
this country, my cancer was found in England and the NHS is looking after me the
best they possibly can. I am never felt more English that I feel now even
though I am genuinely Spanish from top to bottom with my expressive hands, my
funny faces when I talk, my brown eyes and the straightforwardness of words
when I speak my language. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Funny enough, I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>struggle so so much speaking about my disease in Spanish. It is so hard
that I really need to think carefully the words.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hesitated so many times to join <a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork/?fref=ts" target="_blank">YBCN</a> (Younger Breast Cancer Network UK) feeling that I
shouldn't be part of this group. I was totally and utterly wrong. What could I
have done without this? How could I've been comforted when I was alone, when my
family cried over the phone, those time when I was losing the plot or I had
millions of questions. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One thing I remember was my fear to post anything in the
group and I dared. I dared because from second number one I knew I was in
caring and supportive hands. All the welcomes and the warm greetings made me
feel better already.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have BREAST CANCER, finally I said it after two paragraphs.
I was diagnosed the 19<sup>th</sup> of November 2014 when my sister was having
her 36<sup>th</sup> birthday and I ruined it telling the crap news that the
biopsy confirmed it was cancer. Homerton greatest surgeon told me I had triple
negative breast cancer, stage 3, grade 3, very gently, well managed and with
lots of encouraging words. She told me we caught it just in time. And
everything worked! Yippie!!! My chemo was a success, the surgery worked and my
arm is feeling better after my sentinel node biopsy. Rads were a walk in the park and during
those 21 days of radiotherapy I enjoyed the look of a lovely member of staff,
nice, caring, geeky, intelligent look, smart, with glasses and tall!!! I gave
the team my email address but he didn't get the hint or perhaps he was too
professional and my mailbox didn't get the email. Oooops!! Hehehe</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am LUCKY, I truly think I am, however many other moments I
wonder whys and what's the reason behind my cancer or even if I deserved this,
I guess we all do wonder and question. Unfortunately, we will never know and
that's fine. We haven't done anything wrong, we didn't eat too much bacon or
drank too much wine, we are not responsible for this. It is just sometimes the
way things are and it sucks and we can only try and hope for the best.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I always hope for the best even now that I know my breast
cancer has come back. Last Friday I was told my cancer spread to my brain. It
doesn't look promising, there are two areas where the bastard has spread and
we/they don't know much else yet</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I want to live my life whatever the time I have, I want to
keep up, carry on being resilient and stubborn like the bamboo when the wind
blows and tries to break it and it bends and comes back up. Believe me when I
say those words because I fucking am.</span><br />
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know the outcome of all this, I don't need to remind you
what will happen to me but whatever the time I have I really want to DO.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to enjoy, laugh, cry, share, travel,
see friends, eat in restaurants, go to the cinema, polish my nails, discover
new books and write many words.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Friday yes, I was a mess but I accomplished things too. I was
able to leave the counselling room with raccoon eyes and a clown nose and I
finally asked for help, first time ever! I told my dearest friends to have a
coffee with me and make jokes that evening. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My sister whose birthday I spoiled last year, flew over to
London that night and it felt good. We did things, lots of things. And on
Saturday the 7<sup>th</sup> of Nov 2015 ( yesterday) all my other siblings went
all together to my little town and helped me to break the news to my parents.
Gosh, it was so hard. I managed not to cry and kept neutral with my feelings as
I know my mum will be devastated and it wouldn't help with my tears. They both
ended up in hospital after the news, my father because he just came out from
heart surgery and had a shock and my mum because she had such a huge breakdown
that needed painkillers to make her feel better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am so sorry this post might look full of fear and pain but
it is nonetheless the opposite. I want to give you a big cheer up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am already thinking about my funeral, which is very odd and
probably not the best thing to have in mind at the moment. But somehow it is
for me like organising a big fat party. I have so many plans for that day that
makes me smile.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I would like to send love to you and tell you to grab minutes
with your hands, enjoy the seconds of today, laugh to adversity, grab your
life and hug it until your arms hurt and do things you love the most. It is our
precious time, our treasure. Please look after that.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I leave it here with a quote I heard yesterday when I was in
the cinema watching 007.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong>“You are a dancing kite in the middle of a hurricane”</strong> Yes
indeed!</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So much love,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sandra M</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAnVWf8jkcv1Wuz_K7L62gJpUCghe06mi-1zhPGWJQ7RbP73yOvE1PxmEjZQOBUbi0B9jbove4a7Nm5BTiPwofotAXraQIT7zgBcWUxsjRpwJ_ki76JyUUOT2rHjO0MdUrWjUw7i9qS9EL/s1600/Sandra+M+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAnVWf8jkcv1Wuz_K7L62gJpUCghe06mi-1zhPGWJQ7RbP73yOvE1PxmEjZQOBUbi0B9jbove4a7Nm5BTiPwofotAXraQIT7zgBcWUxsjRpwJ_ki76JyUUOT2rHjO0MdUrWjUw7i9qS9EL/s320/Sandra+M+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me before November 2014</span></em></strong></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMREosOCmZKOcW14ikpnge53qD39WtY1iyAiGZUmH-I7hCCdc4T32Alh1RSqlSDL3KiURue2JU5SaBjXIXKTPitybtA-3QqALBHnJoNx-Vv56j1OeDbX8Auz8CBMfk38ApGyQQMTsmzpWW/s1600/Sandra+M+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMREosOCmZKOcW14ikpnge53qD39WtY1iyAiGZUmH-I7hCCdc4T32Alh1RSqlSDL3KiURue2JU5SaBjXIXKTPitybtA-3QqALBHnJoNx-Vv56j1OeDbX8Auz8CBMfk38ApGyQQMTsmzpWW/s320/Sandra+M+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First chemo done! And champagne!</span></em></strong> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAjLMda6npTUvLM0hXhwlCKuTia5UAk44MXxYsDKYrCyZCL8IFbm2hoAmhNafqRYAiAVBvsaX1ke2VZqtx7uhihsyxNkoTsQo41GdU3n2BNZfhrX7LyPfCsZOo7WTDd5DWKsu-CIQGTBfJ/s1600/Sandra+M+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAjLMda6npTUvLM0hXhwlCKuTia5UAk44MXxYsDKYrCyZCL8IFbm2hoAmhNafqRYAiAVBvsaX1ke2VZqtx7uhihsyxNkoTsQo41GdU3n2BNZfhrX7LyPfCsZOo7WTDd5DWKsu-CIQGTBfJ/s320/Sandra+M+3.jpg" width="306" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Second surgery and a "new knickers hat"</em></strong></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmN2yY20yUmFgMgWXk8vWdITOutj2f66zwvJuny_g7YqD1GjKANxYSiTQuHHcJx30mamP7vKuOTtcfMBeshCTwbG8eOnKtri-Jj9UPVOoerJsMUrS1uBLkjnV0wHLSRmgnuzq0NJQEgow/s1600/Sandra+M+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmN2yY20yUmFgMgWXk8vWdITOutj2f66zwvJuny_g7YqD1GjKANxYSiTQuHHcJx30mamP7vKuOTtcfMBeshCTwbG8eOnKtri-Jj9UPVOoerJsMUrS1uBLkjnV0wHLSRmgnuzq0NJQEgow/s320/Sandra+M+4.jpg" width="236" /></span></em></strong></a></div>
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<strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sad news with secondary diagnosis, and steroids = cleaning house windows</span></em></strong></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span> </div>
Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-7547354086534041342015-11-01T21:19:00.001+00:002015-11-01T21:19:48.889+00:00Clarity<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Christina B</em></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the 2nd December 2014, my washing machine broke down and leaked all over the kitchen floor. Also on that day I was diagnosed with Stage 2 grade three breast cancer.
That day when I broke down and cried it was not only for the diagnosis which challenged my mortality I also cried for the water threatening to ruin the kitchen floor and the inconvenience of not having a working washing machine.
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9 months on the washing machine is fixed. I am "fixed" too in medical terms. The cancer has been removed and I've had chemotherapy to blast any indignant lurking cells and I've also had a breast reconstructed. These are physical changes and fixes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My headspace is a tricky one to navigate though. A cancer diagnosis propels you into a dark unknown which forces you to face your own mortality head on. Whilst medical professionals do their job to " fix" you physically your mental health is not really considered unless you proactively request it. At one of my appointments at the breast clinic I asked for details of counselling service as I knew although I was doing a convincing job of coping I was really struggling underneath. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fast track to my local cancer centre and I was given my own personal counsellor who was someone who I could trust and confide in. Someone who would not give me platitudes. Someone who would not give me head tilts of sympathy, someone's you I could dump all my concerns and worries on and not hold back for fear of how they would cope with information of any sort. Counselling isn't for everyone but it was for me. Breast cancer from my perspective was like a project. A really horrid project I might add. After diagnosis I decided to treat it like that and throw everything I could at it and counselling was one of those "things" I hit it with. Retail therapy was another thing too but that's another story in it's own right.
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So 9 months on after diagnosis again I encountered a wet kitchen floor. This time it was a leak from the bathroom, causing a downpour into the kitchen. The damage was much worse and would require extensive work; an insurance job requiring new floors, ceilings and plasterwork.
This time however I didn't cry. I didn't think why me or how unlucky I was or how would I cope with this disaster. After going through breast cancer the fact that I had to have the kitchen ceiling re plastered, bathroom floor redone and my sons room carpet ripped up and relaid due to a flood just didn't register on my Richter scale. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Suffice to say I've gained clarity and perspective going through breast cancer. I'm here to sort out the mess and that's what really matters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-19063757902581337912015-10-31T10:42:00.001+00:002017-03-24T21:20:05.714+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: So much to say...<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Wow....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><strong>What a month.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Last October, 2014, I was halfway through chemo. Quite frankly, I looked and felt like a bag of crap. The massive bald patch on top of my head, steroid bloat, Generic Cancer Face as a result of missing eyebrows and eyelashes, constantly streaming eyes and nose, sore and bleeding arse, and rank mouth thanks to oral thrush were actually the least of my worries. I was more concerned with my upcoming CT and ultrasound scans. Worst case - the results would show my cancer had spread and was incurable. Best case - the scans would be clear and I could look forward to my post-chemo treat of.... surgery. Ooh goody! A skin-sparing (but not nipple-sparing) mastectomy with immediate reconstruction using latissimus dorsi muscle flap, and expander implant. It's as lovely as it sounds. I was also newly single, knew I would never have children of my own even if I did stay alive (and that's if I even managed to find someone new to love me, cancer and all!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">So much of the "awareness raising" and fundraising that goes on during Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a smack in the face to young women like me who are undergoing or have undergone treatment for that very disease. Last year it was pink Playboy bunnies strutting round train stations with collection buckets, this year it was a social media campaign to... show everyone your bra strap on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter. Gah! (Don't get me wrong - both fundraising and awareness raising are incredibly important - but it doesn't have to be so <em>insensitive</em>).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">I'd set this blog up in March to encourage and support young women with breast cancer to write about and share their experiences. Writing is cathartic! As October approached I realised the blog was also an ideal platform to do some awareness raising of what it's really like to be a young woman with breast cancer. I hoped that I might be able to publish a new post every day throughout the month.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><strong>Thank you!</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">In actual fact - there have been 65 posts on the blog this October. I have been blown away by the response from young women across the country, who wanted to add their voice and share their stories. It has been an absolute honour to read, publish and share every single one of them. I would like to say a HUGE <strong>THANK YOU</strong> to all of the women who took the time to write for the blog for breast cancer awareness month. There have been over 16,000 views on the blog during October. Your stories have both educated and inspired. <strong>THANK YOU!</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">I would also like to say thank you to everyone out there who has liked the<a href="https://www.facebook.com/Young-Womens-Breast-Cancer-Blog-UK-765815880182749/" target="_blank"> Facebook page</a>, followed us on <a href="https://twitter.com/youngbcblog" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, shared the blog posts, and added their kind and supportive comments. Every single one has been very much appreciated. Please continue to read, comment, and share. It feels as though the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog is becoming a safe and supportive community - you are all a part of that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Thank you also to the AWESOME <a href="http://jo-harrison.co.uk/" target="_blank">Jo Harrison</a> for designing our very own special pink ribbons.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd3nL9gZ_plrzHZrWO-EcShoh1gh01CE7TtD-EVA2czB0qAFaAr2lTcaA2pHu2xisdQLNjgSB5UeJZ1ET1tlFew-OAkWSedDne4M2xdPsCX-OxzhC5G9uSrfHEsNFzg9uHAoEoPFlbBHMF/s1600/image1+%25281%2529_edited.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd3nL9gZ_plrzHZrWO-EcShoh1gh01CE7TtD-EVA2czB0qAFaAr2lTcaA2pHu2xisdQLNjgSB5UeJZ1ET1tlFew-OAkWSedDne4M2xdPsCX-OxzhC5G9uSrfHEsNFzg9uHAoEoPFlbBHMF/s200/image1+%25281%2529_edited.jpg" width="133" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUeDyMjkOimm9M0_fII6lLw0GuEnnuhkCzZQQoFnCM1PfsefHtNkpR9Fht-Q0m1mnN5c-Z2IfdKAKQJjfTkR2A0cnflYoisMiTCw8f0RgZCgpowYALdSqL8UDVj3HSX9FU7oc0HSxkTORK/s1600/YWBC+drawing-04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUeDyMjkOimm9M0_fII6lLw0GuEnnuhkCzZQQoFnCM1PfsefHtNkpR9Fht-Q0m1mnN5c-Z2IfdKAKQJjfTkR2A0cnflYoisMiTCw8f0RgZCgpowYALdSqL8UDVj3HSX9FU7oc0HSxkTORK/s200/YWBC+drawing-04.jpg" width="111" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUp6ScgenPG0Ke6HgzrIqkHC7e7uSkcczx8dvmS3dzb3osie6KXIgbN-chLMW40I6yS71tZY4Sptmtj06sRp9hDrOwYBgkSPf8K1SyYhl3b1ARQ8-FiafYXDmsSnYKXRSCAX8sjrKBYIIN/s1600/image3+%25281%2529_edited.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUp6ScgenPG0Ke6HgzrIqkHC7e7uSkcczx8dvmS3dzb3osie6KXIgbN-chLMW40I6yS71tZY4Sptmtj06sRp9hDrOwYBgkSPf8K1SyYhl3b1ARQ8-FiafYXDmsSnYKXRSCAX8sjrKBYIIN/s200/image3+%25281%2529_edited.jpg" width="129" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Thank you to <a href="http://melfletcher.com/" target="_blank">Melissa Fletcher</a> for designing the pink photo ribbon we used as part of our October "logo".</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIvPszkzyJbythYKxnVFfC6jd2NOQA-j9k7jyo7Ga6sB7ST9JSzFdxOstQwYP1xFYndCv93kQrOi_SGfNaiNAQYu_bYLwZd4NG4jvzTKV8QV8ATbObuZkNKu7RQh-0OCawp7GfNvpHNoub/s1600/pink+photo+ribbon+pink+background.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIvPszkzyJbythYKxnVFfC6jd2NOQA-j9k7jyo7Ga6sB7ST9JSzFdxOstQwYP1xFYndCv93kQrOi_SGfNaiNAQYu_bYLwZd4NG4jvzTKV8QV8ATbObuZkNKu7RQh-0OCawp7GfNvpHNoub/s200/pink+photo+ribbon+pink+background.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">And thank you to all of the amazing young women with breast cancer who contributed their photos to create this poster. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWoFE-OPqox3NdN0l2EcPVIS1s5Pm28qzSYEsMrt6tTfLcpY06TXmFjA6xfF8qZBB-CwmlIyUK2YWQHIwxuDERuQnUGM9Z4X1T5XzEiFb076-dEXbiyY-4ZsDHefK8dl7FMMinQjcVb-a_/s1600/new+poster+original.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWoFE-OPqox3NdN0l2EcPVIS1s5Pm28qzSYEsMrt6tTfLcpY06TXmFjA6xfF8qZBB-CwmlIyUK2YWQHIwxuDERuQnUGM9Z4X1T5XzEiFb076-dEXbiyY-4ZsDHefK8dl7FMMinQjcVb-a_/s640/new+poster+original.jpg" width="474" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><strong>So what's next?!</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Breast Cancer Awareness Month might be at it's end, but the blog is here year round. Any young woman in the UK with a breast cancer diagnosis can contribute to the blog at any time. Here's some information that will hopefully be of use if you are interested!</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial";"><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/about.html" target="_blank">About the blog</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial";"><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/why-write.html" target="_blank">Why write?</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial";"><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/blog-posts-about-breast-cancer.html" target="_blank">Submitting a blog post</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial";"><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/having-blog-post-published-things-to.html" target="_blank">Having a post published - things to know</a></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "arial";">If you have any queries - please do get in touch at <a href="mailto:ywbcblog@yahoo.co.uk">ywbcblog@yahoo.co.uk</a>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><strong>But there's more!</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">Throughout October a number of conversations have been taking place behind the scenes and... we are going to do a special series of blog posts at the end of November/beginning of December. There'll be a separate post calling out for submissions very soon, but I wanted to give a heads up just now. It's going to be a no holds barred, unfiltered, honest series about being young and single with breast cancer. Sex, dating, body confidence and all the rest of it. If this is something you might like to contribute to please get in touch at <a href="mailto:ywbcblog@yahoo.co.uk">ywbcblog@yahoo.co.uk</a>. All posts can be kept completely anonymous.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">More info coming very soon!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";">In the meantime, thank you again for all of your support during breast cancer awareness month. Go and <a href="http://coppafeel.org/boob-check/" target="_blank">check your breasts</a> now eh?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Sarah xx</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-86423108104540803432015-10-31T10:29:00.004+00:002015-10-31T10:43:47.754+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Hummingbird<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><strong>Author: Sarah C </strong></em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />My heart is full. I am joyful. It is two months since my surgery and I am well. I have got through this. I have lived through this. I am in love with this moment. My stomach flutters like the wings of a hummingbird and life pulses through me.<br /><br />Yesterday I spent all day in meditation. Mindful. Mindful of the fact that this is the end of the acute phase of my cancer journey. My wounds have healed. No fluid, no swelling, just a scar which looks less angry every day. I have accepted the loss of my breast and am slowly coming to terms with the practicalities of what this means. Negotiating changing rooms and swimming pools and conversations with awkward questions.<br /><br />The hardest part has been having to massage the scar every day. Looking in the mirror at the wound where my breast once was and slowly, gently trying to bring the flesh back to life. The surgeon cuts through the muscles and nerves and the area of the wound becomes numb. With proper care and attention you can coax the nerves back to life but you have to be brave. You have to look at the site where the cancer was, you have to face the trauma of the cutting and the stitching and marvel at the miracle of healing. You have to be kind to yourself, body and mind. You have to take time. You have to accept.<br /><br />Yesterday in meditation I decided to celebrate this moment. To enjoy the crescendo of this part of the healing process. The body is a miraculous thing. Life is a marvellous journey. I am scared of tomorrow and the tablets I will have to take and the risk of the abnormal cells multiplying and dividing, forming a new army ready to invade like Putin’s people on the borders of the Ukraine. But this is today, this is now. I am well. I stood and I closed my eyes and I said thank you to whoever or whatever has led me here. Whatever has been my guide, my Sherpa on the rocky terrain of illness, I know I have been guided through to this place.<br /><br />As I closed my eyes a dove swooped down in front of me. It was a big and powerful bird and it quickly disappeared. Then quietly, gently a hummingbird came into sight and stayed, hovering just over my heart in front of my chest. Technicolour and startlingly beautiful, I felt like Mary Poppins without the excruciating Dick Van Dyke and the fluttering of its tiny wings reverberated through my body with a joy and freedom I cannot describe.<br /><br />Eight years ago at a time of crisis I went to Barbados and made some decisions that changed the path of my life. The decisions took courage and strength and meant breaking with the old ways to find a new happiness. There was a humming bird nesting on the veranda of the house I was staying in. Every time I stepped out on to the veranda the humming bird came out. My heart opened at the sight of it and I found the courage to live a new way, inspired by this tiny bird who could move so fast and yet always stand still, entranced by the energy and the strength of this magical creature. Yesterday the humming bird came back.<br /><br />Tomorrow I get the tablets which mark the start of the next phase of my cancer journey. The banality of the everyday living with chronic illness, daily poisoning myself with the tablets in the hope it will kill the potential future threat. My own personal war on my own personal terror but for now I just need to hold onto this moment and make sure I keep my humming bird with me as I make my first faltering steps into the future. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sarah writes at </span><a href="http://livethroughthisblog.wordpress.com/2014/06/20/live-through-this/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://livethroughthisblog.wordpress.com/2014/06/20/live-through-this/</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-91785744796525487502015-10-30T18:47:00.002+00:002015-10-30T19:07:27.702+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Like losing a little part of me<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Author: Laura</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's very hard to put into words how having breast cancer has made me feel. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel a little like they cut a little piece of me away when they cut out my lump. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That little piece may have been my tolerance, I have less patience with people's moaning about the things they have the power to change. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That little piece may be part of my identity, sometimes I feel like all people want to ask is how the treatment is going, and I know that they mean well, but sometimes I would like to talk about something else.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That little piece sometimes feels like the friend I was, when people try to protect me from their dramas (because it's nothing compared to what I'm going through?!?) it doesn't matter how big or small the problems you are facing are, a problem shared is a problem halved and all that.... Please talk to me!! You know,sometimes it's nice to know that other people are having a tough time too (not that I want anyone else to have a rubbish time) but then I don't feel so isolated and alone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That little piece is sometimes my confidence. Chemo steroid weight gain, scars, bloating, baldness, eyelashless, ruined nails, more scars.... I will never look in the mirror and see myself, but now see a new person who I am learning to love. I know my hair will grow and my scars will fade, but right here, right now, it's hard to look at my reflection.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That little piece is sometimes my energy, just making it through the school run, a hospital visit, a few hours work, and I'm completely wiped out!</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, in the little pieces I have lost, I feel there is so much more I have to give, and so much that I have gained. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The strength my family and friends have shown has blown me away. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The support my colleagues have given is phenomenal! Planning nice gifts, collecting well wishes from our clients and saving them for my "bad day" each cycle, creating a box of sunshine (filled with anything yellow and sunny.... Anything from mustard to sand?!? Ha ha)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say in times of trouble you learn who your friends are, my diagnosis has shown me that people are kinder than I could have imagined and care more than I realised.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It will take a long time to find that little piece of me that I feel I have lost, but with my husband at my side and my friends and family behind me, I know I will get there. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you x</span></div>
Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-31094874749274821682015-10-30T18:47:00.001+00:002015-10-30T18:47:29.330+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Tales of asymmetry, dating and always looking on the bright side...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Alison G</em></strong></span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To the left, to the
left … All the single ladies, all the single ladies…<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, I am a fan of Beyoncé, but these lyrics also have a lot
more meaning, which I’d like to share with you in my unique take on life as an
asymmetrical woman.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, there was a film on recently, in it a man takes an earth
shatteringly beautiful woman home after picking her up in a club. They get back
to his room and he confesses, he was umm exaggerating about the size of his body
part. She laughs and says, ‘Don’t worry, let’s be real.’ She then takes out her
contact lens, then whips off her wig….he gasps…..next come her boobs, he
attempts to leave, and I kid you not, followed by her bottom and lastly leg. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m not quite sure what was funny in this after all, as hang
on just a few years back this could be me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL9dHKzb_3KvkFePlTmNiAboHmJ2W7iajvW0vwSAOeCNkH3Af3zNJxqbFrH_V5XHVZ8aW3-VyXrzCLBz1eL0JCj7-NWFqd95C5SEgEVDgREPg_9m6jU5BHcbz0028TxSvPmXxJUwHb_l9f/s1600/ALI+BLOG+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL9dHKzb_3KvkFePlTmNiAboHmJ2W7iajvW0vwSAOeCNkH3Af3zNJxqbFrH_V5XHVZ8aW3-VyXrzCLBz1eL0JCj7-NWFqd95C5SEgEVDgREPg_9m6jU5BHcbz0028TxSvPmXxJUwHb_l9f/s320/ALI+BLOG+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Breast cancer can have you feeling
like the incredible detachable woman</span></b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just 4 years ago my body was in symmetry, my body parts could
have lined up two by two, to jump on board Noah’s Ark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two eyebrows check, two boobs check…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In May 2012, aged 40 and full of life and mischief, my life
was interrupted by a shock diagnosis of an unknown primary tumour that had metastasized
(spread to you and I) to my lymph nodes. The next two weeks were largely spent
in hospital gowns, having every available test, chemical cocktail and
radioactive power being charged through my confused body. Every day I woke up
hoping this was a bad dream and put on a brave face to all those I loved. After
2 weeks it was confirmed as Breast Cancer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would say I was fortunate that I had 5 weeks from my diagnosis
until my mastectomy, it gave me time to absorb this information, and actively
search images to see what this would mean. I can’t imagine how difficult it
would feel to be given a diagnosis on Monday and operated on Wednesday. I
needed time to understand just what the heck was happening. So I remain grateful
circumstances enabled this (my surgeon being on holiday). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have you ever seen a mastectomy image? I hadn’t, so I
educated myself and told myself, ‘You’re going to need to love this new you, as
you might be like it a long time, if not forever’</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After being told I had cancer I wasn’t offered immediate
reconstruction, not everyone is, it depends on the type of treatment you need
afterwards, I had a locally advanced cancer which appeared aggressive so they
wanted to whip it off as soon as possible, before blasting me with chemotherapy
and radiotherapy. By the way it is annoying when people say, ‘so and so had
reconstruction immediately, why haven’t you?’ Or ‘so and so had recon and now
has amazing boobs and a flat stomach' – yawnnnnn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had time to prepare and cope with being left asymmetrical,
and predictably my humour emerged as a coping strategy. I planned a Bon Voyage
Booby Party, where with good friends we celebrated the imminent departure of my
left boob, playing snap, match the boobs, eating chocolate nipples. Jelly boobs
and all members dressed with fake boobs, the best being the old lady sock boobs
that made passers-by imagine we were a Hen Night. For me laughter is the breast
cure … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had a blog 2theleft, where I could express my feelings,
and a closed Facebook group for my close friends and family, which was usually
filled with images, and articles. Many might think my humour tasteless, but it
worked for me. We made a playlist….’to the left’ obviously made the list, so
did ‘Gone’ – Nsync, ‘Man I feel like a Woman’. Tasteless and tacky yes, but a
way of helping me and those closest to me to cope with the shock of what had
happened.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You don’t necessary jump up and fully embrace your
asymmetrical look, for some women it can take weeks, months or even years to
accept and embrace this change. For me, I made it my mission to love my
lop-sidedness. I wanted to see the scar as soon as possible, and joked with the
surgeon by turning one side I was 7lb lighter. Not sure she found this as
amusing – she did make me wear a straight jacket for a while! I jest….</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wanted to accept the new me, and considered without my
left breast I could place my hand on the bony landscape where a boob used to
exist and feel my heart beating away, it’s kind of comforting. I mulled that it
perhaps would make me more vulnerable, and open to love. Hmmm we’ll come back
to that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s not easy being asymmetrical, your body wants to
compensate for the shift and balance. Dressing is different, you have to change
the way your dress so that your prosthesis doesn’t fall out, or appear over the
top of your clothing giving away your secret. Initially you have a softie, that
you can squeeze into shape and then after your scar settles you graduate to a
silicon prosthesis that sits inside your bra and feels like a real breast. It
certainly intrigues most people who feel it, it’s like a boob shaped stress
ball. A heavy one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perks of asymmetry…<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You have Go Go Gadget Boobs, I have a different one to swim,
a different one in the summer – I’m sure I could have a special one for nights
out even with a sequined nipple if I searched the internet. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But obviously you have no sensation, so if someone slams a
door on my left boob I look blankly at them, or if someone nudges me by
accident and flushes expecting a reprimand…they are surprised that I probably
didn’t even notice. Or and if it’s cold my right nipple will respond, and not
my left – which is obviously AWOL. I think people are too polite to mention
this. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Going through airport customs or being searched to get into
a club or concert will have a little doubt – imagine they realise it’s a fake
boob and then think I’m a drugs mule, or female impersonator. The ping of an
elastic glove can have me running faster that Bolt. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Women joke about finishing work and removing their bras, I
can go one up on this, by coming home and whipping my boob off. I never thought
at 40 I’d be going to bed with my boob nestled beside me in its only little
pillow. Will be my teeth next?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If there is a strong breeze in the office I can whip it off
and it becomes a paperweight …or if a conversation with a potential date isn’t
going well I take it off and end the night…. OK the last two are fictitious,
but what a thought though.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The lows…<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At first I’d be self-conscious going boob less even around
my kids, but during chemo and radiotherapy I lost that, along with all my hair,
including nasal hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, toe nails and finger nails. I didn’t
lose weight though, no steroids and chemotherapy bloated my body and the scales
went up by 9kg. How’s that even fair?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ending 2012 I felt absolutely repulsive to all, including
myself sadly. In public wearing a wig, and being fully dressed I might have the
occasional guy smile at me and I’d drop my eyes feeling a fraud. Thinking if
you saw me underneath this you’d certainly not give me the same appreciative
glance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The toll of the diagnosis and
treatment can grind you down, I didn’t want to focus on how bad I looked, or
felt, and instead focused on finishing all treatment and getting back in the
gym. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being stripped of all things that you define as making you
feel feminine is extremely difficult. Every day we are bombarded with beautiful
celebrities and images of ‘perfection’ I can safely say I felt offended by
society’s ideal of beauty at this point in my life and had serious eyebrow
envy. </span><br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></o:p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUtDUTUhJyAogezLTAtORvocUDccGq2HhzrGBkHJg9lYzU121PRF5Svo15QX6wk5hx6sZYRlLs-0-iZEb_DRnkR7OOc3f_quTTA0dyxqPHKRrUfQsp8PoNePAAiMQalqfVGTmjKLnv4tru/s1600/ALI+BLOG+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUtDUTUhJyAogezLTAtORvocUDccGq2HhzrGBkHJg9lYzU121PRF5Svo15QX6wk5hx6sZYRlLs-0-iZEb_DRnkR7OOc3f_quTTA0dyxqPHKRrUfQsp8PoNePAAiMQalqfVGTmjKLnv4tru/s320/ALI+BLOG+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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</v:shape></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t worry it will grow back ………</span></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well my boob won’t, unless I am a strange mutation after
all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hair – yes, but let me tell you
growing back from bald is the longest wait of your life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The year following active treatment ended my confidence,
that had initially soared for seeing off cancer and having No Evidence of
Disease (NED) dropped as reality took over, feeling uncomfortable with the no
style short style hair, the traitorous eyebrows that never grew back and my
stubby eyelashes, oh and hard to shake Tamoxifen pounds I wanted to hibernate. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Between 2012 and 2014 every woman seemed to have HD
eyebrows, doubly long lashes and waist length hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a pair of eyebrows drawn on with a sharpie
– to stop them rubbing off, and slow growing chemo curls. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t hate, appreciate….</span></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In truth your body is a miracle, just as it can stretch and
accommodate a growing baby, it can defragment from cancer treatment and pull
back together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s not even 3 years since I finished chemo and I have hair
I can flick, and twirl round my fingers, and hide behind again, oh boy that
feels good. To reassure anyone currently in treatment, no product advertised
makes it grow faster or thicker, it just takes time. Obviously my nails grew
back, my eyelashes too, not as full as they were before but that’s a potential
side effect of being thrust into a premature menopause from Tamoxifen. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s widely reported that women diagnosed with breast cancer
face high rates of anxiety, depression and decreased self-esteem. Whilst going
through treatment everyone is behind you regarding you a hero for battling the
bad C word. Once the active treatment ends, you are left piecing back together
your life and body parts potentially.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am always saddened when I read about women who feel they
have been ‘mutilated’ and can’t look at their scars. Women whose partners or
husbands leave them as they too can’t cope with the physical, psychological and
emotional changes that cancer leaves you with.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was dating prior to my diagnosis, and I haven’t since. Why?
I consider this a process that I’ve been working through, I had to work through
loving me fully and wholly first. Guess also after all I’ve been through this
hasn’t actually been a priority – a) Beat Cancer b) get a boyfriend.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ok admittedly perhaps I was too fearful to show my
vulnerability and face rejection for exposing my own unique lopsided beauty
before now. It all takes time. For anyone else in the minority, as it certainly
feels that ‘being single during cancer or beyond’ is a minority, when you read
the thousands of threads praising loving husbands, Hang in there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People will tell you that, ‘someone who
really loves you won’t care.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The person
who probably said that wasn’t single!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My advice – be your own cheerleader, love yourself and let
your body and confidence repair. Once you start to feel this returning,
opportunities will appear too. I did a search to find threads, blogs and
articles from other single women post breast cancer who had not had
reconstruction and found barely anything. So I guess we have to be the ones to
step out boldly and do this, what have we go to lose? Remember if the date's
going badly, whip out the prosthesis and watch him run.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
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Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-42078372877767441492015-10-30T18:47:00.000+00:002015-10-30T18:47:22.363+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: "But I don't know what to say"<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Anonymous</em></strong> <br /><br />A recurring theme among my breast cancer chums is how we lose friends and acquaintances after we get diagnosed. Some people, who we least expect, step up and are amazing. Others who we'd normally consider really good friends fall by the wayside. Some of us have found that once our treatments finish those same friends expect to pick up where they left off and this is difficult for us. We've witnessed that when the chips are down they didn't have our backs. <br /><br />Don't get me wrong some of the phrases that I'm mentioning have probably crossed my own lips before, but let's say after my diagnosis and subsequent treatment I'm a little....let's say.....more <em>aware </em>of what I say. <br /><br />It's really hard for us to know that you've been avoiding us simply because you didn't know what to say or do. When all is said and done, you know your friend, you know which of these tips applies to your friend with breast cancer. Most of these are personal to me, some have been inspired by my breast cancer friends. I hope they help you understand a little bit more about how your friend is feeling. Above all else, when the chips are down it doesn't matter what you say or do as long as you carry on saying and doing something - anything. We lose so many friends and that's really sad. <br /><br />So let's crack on! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That head tilt!.........it's ok to feel sorry for someone with cancer, it sucks after all, but sorry is an apology and you have nothing to apologise for. It isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault. Instead think about saying "I'm so sorry this has happened to you, can I do anything/would you like to talk about it". We know you mean well but that head tilt speaks volumes to someone diagnosed with cancer. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cancer isn't a fight, it's a bloody endurance test and yes we need encouragement to get through treatment and surgeries but we need support above all else. Saying things will be fine is belittling our situation. We never know it will be fine and what makes me more of a fighter than someone who lost their life to cancer?.... Did they not fight hard enough? Instead think about saying "I hope everything turns out ok" or "I'm praying for you" or simply "Do you want to talk about it?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We won't ask! We're stubborn creatures but we are also independent and feel we should be at the prime of life. Nothing blows your self esteem than having to ask for help. If you want to help, pop around with a lasagne for the family, we need to eat well. Ring us on a Saturday and ask if the kids or us want to go to the park. Ring us when you are in the supermarket and ask us what we need. If you've come around for a cuppa and you feel inclined go ahead and make the tea and possibly do that bit of washing up. We will be forever grateful for your help but we probably wont ask and we'll probably say "oh it's ok I don't need any help but thanks for offering."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Surgery options, treatment options, reliving diagnosis, worries, fears or just generally wanting a whinge. No opinions needed just a kind ear. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We want to know what's going on in your lives. Nothing sucks more as a cancer patient than being the last to know anything. We want to know what's up with you right now. We want to be able to help and advise as we always have. We are still your friend first and foremost and to be honest it takes our mind off of us a little at your expense but it's nice to have something to think about other than cancer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For one thing it's always beneficial to have a second set of ears. Hospitals are horrible and a lot of time is spent just waiting. Take her to chemo and keep her occupied. Take notes of what is said. Hold her hand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A lot of cancer patients feel like all their decisions are being made for them and the truth is they probably are. If you have a party/lunch date/dinner planned don't assume that they won't want to come because they are having treatment. Invite them as you always would. A patient can feel fine one minute and dreadful the next. It helps them to have a focus and plans in place and if they cancel at the last minute don't be mad just rearrange. A lot of cancer patients believe it or not lose friends because they become less reliable than they used to be for obvious reasons. It won't last forever but their recollections of how you handled those situations will last a lifetime for them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lots of us blog our experiences. Read them.......all of them. You'll probably learn a lot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We of all people understand what it's like to feel poorly and to be honest most of the time our immune systems are so trashed the sniffles for you could mean a hospital stay for us - but the internet is a wonderful thing and so is connecting to the people you love. We want to know what's going on in your life. So think about Skype or FaceTime it's a wonderful way to connect and chat that doesn't make our numb fingers ache. If life has been manic fair enough but you know what there's always a minute for a quick text even if it is just to say "things are manic, catch up soon" - you probably would have before. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That may be true, but give us some credit our bodies are going through hell and so are we. We might be pretty cruddy friends right now but we're still your friend and to be honest the chemo fog makes it hard to remember our own names let alone yours. Sorry! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's not all doom and gloom. We still like a laugh as much as we ever did. Joke about things when appropriate to do so. If she's worried about going out in her wig do your hair up so hideously that no one will be looking at her. You'll laugh! I bet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Truth of the matter is cancer is lonely. We lose people because they feel they don't know what to say or do. Send us messages, arrange visits, ask us out for coffee no matter what we'll be grateful for the company and change of scenery. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So talk about the weather, tell us about the shoes you bought for your date on Saturday.........tell us about the date on Saturday! Tell us about the annoying woman at work who went around all afternoon with bog roll stuck to her shoe! We wanna know! We're interested in life outside of cancer too. It's your company and most of all your friendship we want not an in depth profound conversation on the meaning of life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With anything! Just anything. Little gifts, cards, letters, magazines, DVDs, pamper sessions, conversation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well that feeling is mutual but please don't lay any unnecessary guilt on us. We already feel guilty for upsetting the lives of our family/friends/kids/partners. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes please! Please help us to nourish ourselves when we're probably too tired/feeling too rubbish to do it ourselves. Co-ordinate with your other friends so we don't end up with 6 dinners on one night. Flowers and chocolates are lovely also but you can't beat a home cooked meal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If she says struggling with the house work suggest a cleaner, phone around some and ask for quotes or see what local charities offer the services, if you can tell she's generally not herself suggest she seek counselling which is available to nearly all people diagnosed. Or again look up local charities, the Haven offer specifically tailored courses for women with breast cancer. Encourage her to accept all help that's offered to her. It can be a very hard thing to accept that you need help- support her through it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Who wants any sort of cancer?! No cancer is good cancer. People die from breast cancer. Nearly 12,000 women a year in fact. There are lots of treatment options, but for some women those options run out. Just no! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well thanks, maybe I will and maybe it'll hurt less than major surgery or Tax chemo aches! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The worst thing that can happen when you feel like pouring your heart out is being told "don't talk like that, you've got to stay positive". We do try to stay optimistic on the whole but sometimes it's good to let it out. If we want to talk about worst case scenarios or who we want to look after our dogs if we're not here one day then just let us say it. We're both hoping it won't come to that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take her out, take her kids out, do the school run, take the dog for a walk. Cancer affects not only the person diagnosed but all those around them too. Try to help her make day to day life as normal as possible for everyone else. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well it is a bonus not having to shave but not having hair, lashes or brows sucks! I don't care if I have a nice shaped head! I want my long locks back and I want to have to spend 1/2 and hours tousling my tresses before a night out! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks for these little nuggets. For now I'd like to form my own opinions based on medical facts, thought through and discussed with my oncologist. I'm not dismissing your ideas but please don't ask me to accept your ideas as medical fact. It's a minefield as it is learning a whole new medical dialect. Find me a leaflet and I'll have a read if and when I'm ready.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nothing is screaming out of a cancer patients head more than the thought of death and dying. Lots of people die from cancer, that's a horrific fact. We've probably lost people we know and love from it too. Just don't say anything on that subject at all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hair cutting before chemo, throw a party. Birthday, throw a party. End of treatment, throw a party. Good test results, throw a party. We love nothing better than a good excuse to be around the people that we love. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There will be times when we still continue to look pretty amazing, it normally takes some effort, makeup, wigs or withstanding the cold cap. But don't presume because we can look well that we are. A lot of people especially those with secondary breast cancer can look really well a lot of the time. The honest truth is we normally get tired very easily, can pick up bugs pretty swiftly and that's not to mention the psychological impact we're going through. Instead say something like "you are looking well today, how are you feeling".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tell that to the 6 month old baby with leukaemia. Cancer doesn't give a damn about your age. We can't say I'm sorry Mr Cancer sir but I can't have you because I'm only in my 30's so go away.......if only.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes! Friends do ask. Reconstructions after a mastectomy aren't at all like having an augmentation. We may learn to live with our scars and grow to be proud of them but early on they cause us an array of emotions, they are red and sore. Most of all we all pretty much liked our boobs just how they were thanks very much. If we want to show you we'll ask if you want to see.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If we've just had chemo probably be in our pj's looking and feeling a bit rubbish but your effort counts a ton. We might not be up to much conversation especially in the early days after chemo but we love seeing you and yes we'd love a sandwich and a cup of tea.....you know where the kitchen is.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The best any breast cancer patient can hope for is NED - no evidence of disease. Breast cancer has a funny little habit of rearing its ugly head even years down the line. We don't get given the all clear -we get sent away with a list of symptoms to look out for for possible recurrences and we have yearly mammograms to check for recurrence. And even if my body is cancer free now, my mind will never be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No one knows! We've probably racked our brains, calculated every contraceptive pill we've ever taken. Recollected every bump our boobs have taken. Analysed every morsel of food and drink that's passed our lips. Unless we are diagnosed with a gene mutation which could give us a greater risk there's just no way of knowing. Unless we bring it up let's let sleeping dogs lay. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Surgeries, steroids, anti sickness drugs and chemo not only knock us on our backsides and make some of us less active. The steroids and anti sickness meds actually fuel our appetites. Not all women are the same - some lose, some gain and some stay the same. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I go back to the "all women are different" comment and also add all chemos are different. Some people sail through chemo, some end up so sick with it that they can't even have all of their treatments. Don't make your friend feel bad for not living up to your expectations. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If there's anything your friend could do with, especially if she has no hair, has gained weight, is loosing her nails, has no brows or lashes, it is an ego boost. Compliment her on how fab her wig is, or her new sunglasses. Try to avoid saying things like your new hair cut really suits you, FYI it's not a cut and we didn't choose it. But we like compliments just like the next person. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No no no no no! Just don't ask. We aren't told. How long is a piece of string. Unless we say otherwise we are gonna live till we are old ok. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're fighting for our lives here. Please don't dismiss yours with a flippant remark. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu2uw8LOj8-Z7Nq7WF3EWGMnnCX6VVPYW4A3aV-YwPocvxYIUyaxPR523Jg_S56EO6TIi7Y09mBRkRn3VSmZUqnf-v2gxwwr_MA9XbLxCC8IL9Lnrmz3N7yZNvoEyP6CZayWwS-6OYS8c0/s1600/image30.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu2uw8LOj8-Z7Nq7WF3EWGMnnCX6VVPYW4A3aV-YwPocvxYIUyaxPR523Jg_S56EO6TIi7Y09mBRkRn3VSmZUqnf-v2gxwwr_MA9XbLxCC8IL9Lnrmz3N7yZNvoEyP6CZayWwS-6OYS8c0/s320/image30.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You could and you would if you had to. Brave is making a choice to do something that scares you. I suppose in a way we do make a choice to endure the treatments but the alternative is much scarier so in that case I'm actually a great big scaredy cat......see what I did there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's not a walk in the park for us either but we're hoping this is just a blip. Sometimes in life you have to face difficult situations. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">................ We need you now more than ever! <br /><br />So there it is. I'm sure there are many, many more that I haven't thought about. Feel free to add them in the comments. <br /><br />Like I said before though these are just tips if you are finding it difficult to know what to say and what not to say but at the end of the day we just want to stay friends and for at least one aspect of our lives not to change forever.</span><br />
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Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-45786682501517260252015-10-29T14:35:00.001+00:002015-10-29T14:35:29.146+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Lost<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Kim</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is how I'm feeling at the moment.....lost. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since my first diagnosis last October I have been quite upbeat, had my down days but on the whole I felt quite positive. But after I was told it was back in the other side a month ago I have been feeling the complete opposite. Never before have I felt so sad, I am certain I have hit rock bottom and I don't know how to get up. Three weeks ago I had a second mastectomy and have been recovering, mainly alone. Hubby was working, the kids were at the grandparents so I didn't have to look after them and I think I can count the number of visitors I had on one hand. I went a bit stir crazy as I wasn't allowed to drive for a couple of weeks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My body is slowly recovering but my arm is still stiff and sore from the node clearance and I have a horrible painful seroma where my boob once was. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's my mind that is struggling. Struggling that I have to do it all again when we had just started getting some sort of life back. Struggling knowing that my oncologist thinks that it might still spread so will be ordering more scans after chemo and probably more in the future. Struggling with the fact I am now classed as 'high risk' of the cancer coming back and going elsewhere. Struggling with my research of the chemo drugs I'm going to be on and finding that it's normally used for advanced cancer. Panicking that my team have forgotten to tell me something! Struggling with not knowing if I'm going to be around to see my two amazing boys grow up. I'm worried that my friends are now bored of cancer Kim, and I don't blame them. Who likes hearing about cancer all the time and I'm not the happy cancer patient I once was. I feel sorry for my husband, he is struggling with it too and feels rubbish he can't help me. The look he gives me when it all gets too much for me and I cry, it breaks my heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wake up in the morning and I don't want to face the world, I just want to curl up in bed and stay there. But I can't, my boys need me to look after them. At the moment I feel like I'm not a good mummy, I never feel like going out anywhere or doing anything really. I snap at them and lose my patience with them quickly. It's not their fault and I feel incredibly guilty. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't even have the energy or inclination to do any of my crafts I used to really enjoy doing. Instead I have thrown myself into helping others going through this. Myself and three other ladies are running a charity giving out gift bags to local people going through chemo for breast cancer. I genuinely feel happy when I know we have helped someone through a rough time. I am also helping to organise workshops in my local town to show people how to check yourself and what signs to look out for. I really hope I can make a difference with these two ventures. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I still feel like I'm 18 and definitely don't feel like I am grown up enough to deal with all this crap! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know I need to speak to a professional and I need to do it soon before it gets worse. So that is next on my list of things to do! </span></div>
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Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-7223719070242428152015-10-29T14:35:00.000+00:002015-10-29T14:35:03.653+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: So my boobs are trying to kill me...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Katie</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />I'll start my story on a hot summer's day in July 2014. I'd gone alone to my appointment at Broomfield Hospital's Breast Clinic as I wasn't feeling too concerned about my results. As Emma, the genetic counsellor, delivered the results that I had tested positive for the BRCA2 gene mutation I didn't really know how to react. In fact it's taken nearly a year to know how I feel about it enough to start this blog.<br /><br />For me, being told I have the BRCA2 gene mutation feels a bit like a half-diagnosis. Yes it does mean that I have an 86% chance of developing breast cancer and over a 40% chance of developing ovarian cancer but day-to-day it doesn't actually change anything. I'm not ill. I'm not sick. I don't have cancer. I don't want sympathy and ultimately the only thing that has changed is my knowledge of my risk, which I now view as an incredibly good thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />I think my family's history with breast cancer is a big reason for my lack of panic over my diagnosis. My half-sister was diagnosed in 2010 aged just 30 and a year later my Mum was diagnosed aged 48. Both went through gruelling surgeries, chemotherapy and radiotherapy and suffered greatly through their battles with the disease but happily both are now safety in remission. I think that seeing both my half-sister and Mum survive breast cancer it means to me that I don't automatically view it as a death sentence, although I do realise there are many who aren't as lucky. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><strong><em>The Jolie Gene</em></strong><br /><br />Google 'BRCA' or 'breast cancer gene' and you'll undoubtedly find hundreds of articles on Angelina Jolie. I love Angelina and admire greatly what she has done to raise awareness. She's gorgeous, strong and positive but she's hardly someone you can call up for a chat and discuss her fears about Brad seeing her post-mastectomy body. That's one of the reasons why I'm writing this blog.<br /><br />I hope that by putting my feelings, thoughts and fears out there I help someone else going through the same thing. I'm 27, I'm a bit vain, I have a good career, I'm worried what I'll look like in a bikini after my surgery, will it affect my sex-life, will today be the day I feel a lump, will I still feel feminine? I don't have all the answers but if my blog brings a smile to just one person going through something similar then that would make me so happy.<br /><br /><strong>Fight like a girl</strong><br /><br />Over a year on from my news and I'm actually feeling very positive. 1000 women a month die from breast cancer in the UK alone and I'm very lucky that I have been given this warning. I have a choice to save my life before I'm even diagnosed and for that reason I will be undergoing a full double mastectomy by the end of the year.<br /><br />Cancer is such a horrible spiteful illness and makes us all feel powerless. The fact that I have a choice makes me feel so empowered. I'm one of the lucky ones and I'm going to fight this like a girl. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can follow Katie’s journey through her full blog here:<br /> <br /><a href="http://www.myboobsaretryingtokillme.blogspot.co.uk/">http://www.myboobsaretryingtokillme.blogspot.co.uk</a> </span></em></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><u>Write for the blog! </u></strong></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This blog is one of a series being shared on the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog UK during October, breast cancer awareness month, but t</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">he blog is here year round. If you are a young woman in the UK who has/had a breast cancer diagnosis and you would like to be a part of this blog, please have a read of the additional information </span><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/blog-posts-about-breast-cancer.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">here</span></a><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><strong><u>Check your breasts</u></strong></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: #741b47;">Breast cancer can happen to any of us - regardless of age. Information about how to check your breasts can be found on the </span><a href="http://coppafeel.org/boob-check/" target="_blank">Coppafeel</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">and</span> <a href="http://breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/what-are-the-signs-and-symptoms-of-breast-cancer" target="_blank">Breast Cancer Now</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">websites. </span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><strong><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><u>Further information and support:</u></span></strong></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Younger Breast Cancer Network UK</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- an online chat and support group for women under the age of 45 in the UK who have had a breast cancer diagnosis.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSh7toEk1ZUMO989HLBsuog/videos" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Baldly Beautiful</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- a YouTube channel with make up demonstrations, created by Mac makeup artist Andrea Pellegrini who went through chemo herself in 2014.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Takeamomentexhibition?fref=ts" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Take A Moment</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- This is a group for women (all ages) who have/had breast cancer who want to explore, reflect on and express their feelings and experiences through photography. This is a link to the public page - to join the group, send them a message.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="http://www.theosbornetrust.com/" target="_blank">The Osborne Trust</a> - Providing children of parents with cancer the opportunity to access time out recreational activities whilst their parents undergo operations and treatments</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Jensfriendsmastectomypillow?fref=ts" target="_blank">Jen's Friends</a> - Free heart-shaped pillows for women (and men) with Breast Cancer. Designed to provide comfort and protection after a Mastectomy operation.</span></span></span></span><br />
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Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-3884008842069471682015-10-29T14:34:00.000+00:002015-10-29T14:34:47.115+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Tainted school days<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
<strong><em>Author: Charlotte S</em></strong></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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I loved school, from my tiny primary to my huge secondary where I stayed on to
do A levels.<br />
I was fortunate to not get bullied, I wasnt miss popular nor the cleverest, I
was me and I coasted along without any major concerns.... I look back on those
years with a smile and good memories and I'm grateful to Facebook for helping
me to reconnect with special friends.<br />
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But now I look at my children who were 12 and 14 when I was diagnosed with Triple Negative
breast cancer and I wonder how different their time at secondary school could
have been. It makes me feel sick that when they look back at these years in 20
years time will all the fun times be tainted by the memory of what home was
like. My cancer is a stubborn mule and almost 5 years on I'm still having
almost constant treatment. Have they gone to school and been laughed at because
their mum has no hair and one boob...I know they wouldnt admit it to me... Both
my children have great friends but its all the others that worry me...was there
a child who would say things as they passed? </span></span><br />
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Would they have done even better in their exams if they didnt have me at home
hogging the attention?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I took my
eye off the ball when it came to nagging over revision.</span></span><br />
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But most of all I just hate the thought that they will look back with sadness. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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</span>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-66802630294734266992015-10-28T18:14:00.001+00:002015-10-28T18:14:57.450+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: I'm not brave<strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Author: Victoria Yates</span></em></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Victoria set up the </em></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Younger Breast Cancer Network UK</em></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em> - an online chat and support group for young women in the UK under the age of 45 with a breast cancer diagnosis. If you are a woman in the UK who has been diagnosed with breast cancer under the age of 45 please do have a look and consider joining. </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em>Also if you haven't already - check out the YBCN <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Nottooyoung-by-the-Younger-Breast-Cancer-Network-UK-1043887358963641/" target="_blank">#nottooyoung campaign</a> for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.</em></span><br />
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<strong><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm not brave</span></u></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I was just turned 36 the day<br /> They said, I'm sorry chuck,<br /> But the lump that you came in with<br /> Is cancer. Such shit luck.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I wasn't listening anyway,<br /> I was in a different world. <br /> I'd just been hit with a ton of crap<br /> As my formerly nice life unfurled.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And I wasn't very brave you know,<br /> As I sobbed and screamed that day. <br /> Total terror gripped my soul<br /> And I shared it straight away!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> None of this stoic, none of this calm,<br /> Shove those "'its what's meant to be'. <br /> I was happy to scowl and to tut all day long<br /> "Why did this happen to me?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And I wasn't "so brave" because I had treatment<br /> There wasn't a choice to be made ,<br /> I bit off their hand at each chance for my life<br /> And thanked God for each treatment they gave.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I asked them to cut me, to poison, to burn<br /> The cancer right out of my being. <br /> And I whined and I cried and was pissed off to hell<br /> As I struggled with pooing and weeing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And I struggled with eating, and drinking as well,<br /> As everything tasted like shit,<br /> And I struggled with walking and climbing the stairs<br /> And it even would hurt just to sit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I struggled with mirrors, and showers and reading<br /> I struggled with watching TV.<br /> I struggled to talk without hurling abuse<br /> But excelled being sorry for me! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> So, yes, I continued to get through each day<br /> To tackle the treatment head first<br /> I made sure I did the best that I could<br /> Whilst cancer was doing its worst.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Because I'm a mum, because I'm a daughter,<br /> A friend and a sister and wife, <br /> I must do my best to keep myself well,<br /> I must, cos I've only one life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And no, I'm not brave and I'm not so inspiring,<br /> I was dealt a crap hand, fair to say,<br /> But if YOU found yourself in that same position<br /> You'd also have done it my way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> You'd also have made the friends</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> that I've made<br /> As together you walk down this road, <br /> And your heart would have broken, again and again<br /> As their time in this world shrank and closed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> So yes, I get angry and yes I get bitter<br /> And yes I get pissed off as hell,<br /> But I also enjoy a life full of moments<br /> To live, and to love. Might as well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-38009437787923107372015-10-28T18:12:00.001+00:002015-10-28T18:13:26.260+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Tea, cake and cancer - life after thebig C<strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Author: Jenny R</span></em></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hour 1 - Tears, lots of tears, a welling up of emotions that I can't pin point. How do I feel? I couldn't tell you. Lost is probably the best answer. Lost, scared, alone. Definitely not elated or jubilant or any of those words you might imagine me using. Like so much in the last six months it feels unreal. Unreal to have finished treatment, unreal to have finished radiotherapy, chemotherapy. Unreal to have lost my hair. Unreal to have been given the diagnosis. <br /><br />My husband always commented that it rained on hospital days, well today the sun shone, I'd cast off the winter coat in favour of a slightly lighter one and my sunglasses masked my tears. I treated myself to a twix and ate it sitting on a bench in the park looking out at Edinburgh Castle. <br /><br />Part of me wished I'd brought my allotment key with me, the other part didn't know what to do, so I ate the twix and cried. And then with the sun sheltering behind a wispy cloud I gathered my belongings and retreated to one of my favourite cafes, where I sat and completed a post radiotherapy questionnaire (get all things cancer related out of the way) and tried to unwind over a pot of green tea and a raspberry friand. Let the moving on begin. <br /><br />Day 2 - Convalescing. That's the word I've taken from yesterday's Where Now course run by my local Maggie's Centre. Being kind to myself, letting my body repair. It's easier said than done. I had lunch with my work colleagues today as one of them is leaving. After just over an hour I'm wiped out and I'm trying to make myself stay in town so I can go to his leaving do later. The sensible, and kind to myself, approach would be to get the bus home, rest for a couple of hours and then go back out. Instead I'm sitting in a cafe with a book I can't concentrate on, earl grey tea and a slice of plum and hazelnut polenta cake which isn't hitting the spot. I find it very hard to acknowledge my tiredness. I think I see it as admitting defeat. Even whilst I sit here drinking my tea, and nibbling on the bits of plum, I'm thinking I should get a leaving card on my way home, I should do this, I should do that. And because I'm so tired, my emotions are close to the surface and I could cry. In fact if I don't go home soon, I will cry. <br /><br />Month 2 - Having had the opportunity to cry all afternoon I seem to have chosen now when I'm meeting a friend. To start I had another lump which they checked out this morning and its all okay so there's a feeling of relief but also the very clear realisation that I don't trust my own body, that I've lost faith in it and that, honestly, I don't like it. Now I know/knew all of this was true, it’s a big part of what we talk about at Maggie's Centre, but the reality of feeling like this is sinking in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhokjxRZigVdvdlXBsT-GLWkl0UvRQzIVBj_EczkbIEAVoXwBzJ05HXppYOuMgr6Eok_V7GzODGaOEJq_j2QKhmKrcCP8_RiSDSkizo1Y2OOgfrXhBTU__R6R4izNctxKtYN8GnegE4SHJo/s640/blogger-image-810713200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhokjxRZigVdvdlXBsT-GLWkl0UvRQzIVBj_EczkbIEAVoXwBzJ05HXppYOuMgr6Eok_V7GzODGaOEJq_j2QKhmKrcCP8_RiSDSkizo1Y2OOgfrXhBTU__R6R4izNctxKtYN8GnegE4SHJo/s640/blogger-image-810713200.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><u>Write for the blog! </u></strong></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This blog is one of a series being shared on the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog UK during October, breast cancer awareness month, but t</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">he blog is here year round. If you are a young woman in the UK who has/had a breast cancer diagnosis and you would like to be a part of this blog, please have a read of the additional information </span><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/blog-posts-about-breast-cancer.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">here</span></a><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><strong><u>Check your breasts</u></strong></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: #741b47;">Breast cancer can happen to any of us - regardless of age. Information about how to check your breasts can be found on the </span><a href="http://coppafeel.org/boob-check/" target="_blank">Coppafeel</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">and</span> <a href="http://breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/what-are-the-signs-and-symptoms-of-breast-cancer" target="_blank">Breast Cancer Now</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">websites. </span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><u>Further information and support:</u></span></strong></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Younger Breast Cancer Network UK</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- an online chat and support group for women under the age of 45 in the UK who have had a breast cancer diagnosis.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSh7toEk1ZUMO989HLBsuog/videos" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Baldly Beautiful</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- a YouTube channel with make up demonstrations, created by Mac makeup artist Andrea Pellegrini who went through chemo herself in 2014.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/Takeamomentexhibition?fref=ts" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Take A Moment</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- This is a group for women (all ages) who have/had breast cancer who want to explore, reflect on and express their feelings and experiences through photography. This is a link to the public page - to join the group, send them a message.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="http://www.theosbornetrust.com/" target="_blank">The Osborne Trust</a> - Providing children of parents with cancer the opportunity to access time out recreational activities whilst their parents undergo operations and treatments</span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Jensfriendsmastectomypillow?fref=ts" target="_blank">Jen's Friends</a> - Free heart-shaped pillows for women (and men) with Breast Cancer. Designed to provide comfort and protection after a Mastectomy operation.</span><br />
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</span></span></span><br />Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-69471158720685819472015-10-28T18:12:00.000+00:002015-10-28T18:13:51.368+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Motherhood and cancer<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Christina B</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A breast cancer diagnosis is a shock to the system. Fact. Throw in to that system the fact that you are a single mum, you have no family network for 200 miles and the fact your child's paternal father will only accommodate your son for 1 overnight stay a week.
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tricky... But doable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Doable.... </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every time I logged into the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork" target="_blank">YBCN</a> network (Facebook life saving page for younger women from the UK aged under 45 with breast cancer) I kept hearing everyone say this word. Doable for me equates to when my son hands me his dirty PE kit before bedtime and asks me to have it sorted before the morning for his PE lesson. That's doable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Doable is on a Sunday night when all the shops are closed and he tells me he's got cooking the following day for school and I have to source 7 ingredients I don't have in my cupboard at Tesco at 7am Monday morning. That's doable.
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Breast cancer with my circumstances, I'm yet to be convinced that can be added to the doable list.
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyway a quick rewind back to the day I was diagnosed and my first thoughts on hearing I had cancer. Firstly I thought that the consultant must have made a mistake as my own doctor had sent me for a mammogram as she was beyond sure that it was "only a cyst".
Secondly while my head was trying to process the myriad of information, my son consumed my thoughts, I could see him in my mind so clearly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He was holding a roll of black bin liners, trying to work out firstly where the perforations were, - not before rolling out about at least 4 conjoined together. In my mind after he had found the perforations and tore one off he was trying and failing to open it up, licking his fingers repeatedly but getting frustrated at the fact that the bag stayed firmly closed....
This daydream was a reality. It happened 2 days before diagnosis after asking my son to change the bin bag and we both laughed at the fact that he was 12 and made such a pigs ear of it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fast forward to the consultants room and my mind kept playing this scene on a loop. I was going to die and leave my son without this basic life skill. Never mind all the other life skills that I hadn't got round to teaching him.
My mind was an array of confusion and panic, just as the whirl wind of cancer starts to spin, the foundation of motherhood is the first to get shaken. What would happen to my son and who would look after him? I'm supposed to be his care giver. Who would feed him and go to parents evenings? Who would wash his PE kit? Who would make his sandwiches with no butter on? Who would help him with his schoolwork?
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My head was spinning. I had to make a choice to either go under with this news or to embrace it and make a damn good plan of a way to get through this curveball because motherhood and cancer do not mix.
My 12 year old son grew up overnight when I told him I had breast cancer. You cannot underestimate the strength and resilience of a child until you subject them to a situation that requires both of these characteristics.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><u>Write for the blog! </u></strong></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This blog is one of a series being shared on the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog UK during October, breast cancer awareness month, but t</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">he blog is here year round. If you are a young woman in the UK who has/had a breast cancer diagnosis and you would like to be a part of this blog, please have a read of the additional information </span><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/blog-posts-about-breast-cancer.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">here</span></a><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><strong><u>Check your breasts</u></strong></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: #741b47;">Breast cancer can happen to any of us - regardless of age. Information about how to check your breasts can be found on the </span><a href="http://coppafeel.org/boob-check/" target="_blank">Coppafeel</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">and</span> <a href="http://breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/what-are-the-signs-and-symptoms-of-breast-cancer" target="_blank">Breast Cancer Now</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">websites. </span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><u>Further information and support:</u></span></strong></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Younger Breast Cancer Network UK</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- an online chat and support group for women under the age of 45 in the UK who have had a breast cancer diagnosis.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSh7toEk1ZUMO989HLBsuog/videos" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Baldly Beautiful</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- a YouTube channel with make up demonstrations, created by Mac makeup artist Andrea Pellegrini who went through chemo herself in 2014.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/Takeamomentexhibition?fref=ts" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Take A Moment</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- This is a group for women (all ages) who have/had breast cancer who want to explore, reflect on and express their feelings and experiences through photography. This is a link to the public page - to join the group, send them a message.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="http://www.theosbornetrust.com/" target="_blank">The Osborne Trust</a> - Providing children of parents with cancer the opportunity to access time out recreational activities whilst their parents undergo operations and treatments</span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Jensfriendsmastectomypillow?fref=ts" target="_blank">Jen's Friends</a> - Free heart-shaped pillows for women (and men) with Breast Cancer. Designed to provide comfort and protection after a Mastectomy operation.</span><br />
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</span><br /></span><br /></span><br /></span><br />Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-28878329905758319432015-10-28T18:11:00.000+00:002015-10-28T18:14:01.825+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Back<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Sarah P</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to go back.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to carefree drinks in the sun.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to impromptu days out with my daughter Eva.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to holidays in the sun and staying out all night because I could.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take me back to the place where I could wear anything as long as it was a size 8 and I looked god damned hot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to hair straighteners and wine before nights out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to working confidently and winning pitches for fun. Being respected as a leader in my field.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to laughing. Back to kissing the man I thought loved me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to underwired bras and matching underwear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to the time where a new relationship didn’t mean baring my soul and my flat chest before anyone gets the chance to love me again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to not seeing the look of fear and sorrow in my mum's eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to a time when I didn’t know what chemotherapy was. Didn’t know the difference between HER2+ and triple negative.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to before my veins collapsed from too many needles and the days where I didn’t need painkillers to get through the day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to having 2 perfectly good tits.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to before the pitying looks that say “thank god it’s not me”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to the days where I didn’t worry that my 7 year old daughter might grow up and inherit the bastard breast cancer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want my life back. I’ve lost too much. Every day hangs heavy with the threat of “what if”…….every day I carry the grief of what I have lost but also gratitude that I have a second chance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to having Penny in my life. That hurts the most. She should be here with me. Looking forward and not back. Together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want my life back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><u>Write for the blog! </u></strong></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This blog is one of a series being shared on the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog UK during October, breast cancer awareness month, but t</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">he blog is here year round. If you are a young woman in the UK who has/had a breast cancer diagnosis and you would like to be a part of this blog, please have a read of the additional information </span><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/blog-posts-about-breast-cancer.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">here</span></a><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><strong><u>Check your breasts</u></strong></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: #741b47;">Breast cancer can happen to any of us - regardless of age. Information about how to check your breasts can be found on the </span><a href="http://coppafeel.org/boob-check/" target="_blank">Coppafeel</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">and</span> <a href="http://breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/what-are-the-signs-and-symptoms-of-breast-cancer" target="_blank">Breast Cancer Now</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">websites. </span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><u>Further information and support:</u></span></strong></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Younger Breast Cancer Network UK</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- an online chat and support group for women under the age of 45 in the UK who have had a breast cancer diagnosis.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSh7toEk1ZUMO989HLBsuog/videos" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Baldly Beautiful</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- a YouTube channel with make up demonstrations, created by Mac makeup artist Andrea Pellegrini who went through chemo herself in 2014.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/Takeamomentexhibition?fref=ts" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Take A Moment</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- This is a group for women (all ages) who have/had breast cancer who want to explore, reflect on and express their feelings and experiences through photography. This is a link to the public page - to join the group, send them a message.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="http://www.theosbornetrust.com/" target="_blank">The Osborne Trust</a> - Providing children of parents with cancer the opportunity to access time out recreational activities whilst their parents undergo operations and treatments</span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Jensfriendsmastectomypillow?fref=ts" target="_blank">Jen's Friends</a> - Free heart-shaped pillows for women (and men) with Breast Cancer. Designed to provide comfort and protection after a Mastectomy operation.</span><br />
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Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-84089486244075680882015-10-27T19:28:00.001+00:002015-10-27T19:28:13.088+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: I am not fighting cancer - cancer is fighting me!<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Cindy</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was diagnosed with invasive ductal Grade 3 breast cancer at age 42. Having no family history, I don't smoke, hardly drink and go to the gym/swim 2-3 times a week, I came to realise there is no rhyme or reason for having cancer. It is not caused by something I did or didn't do. It is purely bad luck.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having had 6 rounds of chemo and removal of breast lump and 11 lymph nodes from my armpit, it became clear to me that there is no right or wrong way to deal with your diagnosis. Everyone reacts differently to chemotherapy and heals in their own time after surgery. I am now awaiting 4 weeks of radiotherapy to finish my treatment regime. For the next 5 years I will be taking a daily tablet and having a monthly injection as a 'back up' to my diagnosis, plus regular check ups with my consultants. I will undoubtedly go into early menopause.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have coped by focusing on each stage at a time - ie giving my full attention to chemotherapy and not thinking about surgery or radiotherapy. This way I found it easier to deal with and not so overwhelming. With my faith and a great support system of family and friends, I remain positive each day and try to find humour in every situation! I refuse to wallow in self-pity but remain strong and defiant. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having had to spend a few days as an in-patient on two different occasions on the chemo ward, I have come to realise my cancer is not so bad, compared to what other cancer patients are having to deal with. This puts everything into perspective for me. I do get my odd "blip" day where I feel low and tearful but after a good cry I get back up again! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am crying as I type this because I just feel sad about the whole thing. Sad that my family and I have had to go through this, sad in the way it has changed our lives over the past 8 months, sad for the way it has changed my physical appearance, sad because I know there are a lot of changes going on inside my body which I cannot see but can feel, sad because my brain goes into overdrive when things are quiet, reliving all that I have been through this year, some things are just a blur, some are vivid and painful but most of all I feel sad because cancer has stolen my peace. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cancer not only affects the patient but it touches family and friends too. It is as hard for a loved one to watch someone they love suffering without being able to do anything, as it is for the patient going through it. My mother was diagnosed with lymphoma 5 months before my diagnosis, and having to watch her go through her chemotherapy and worry about test results is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It breaks your heart and you feel helpless.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On a positive note, you realise how truly loved you are by your family and friends. This I found very overwhelming and comforting. They may not be able to take your pain away, but they make the whole process a lot easier and often humorous!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, to someone who has been newly diagnosed, I would say the following and hope that it is helpful:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you have long hair, cut it shorter before it starts to fall out.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Buy a wig/hair scarves ahead of time so you are all prepared.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shave your hair off before you lose to much of it - although this is easier said than done, I promise you will feel liberated and ready to fight! Be proud of what it stands for!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take your temperature morning and night. It is then easier to see when something is going on, i.e. infections.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Keep a diary to record how you physically feel on a daily basis, your daily regime of medications/injections to take, daily temperature etc. This is helpful especially if you feel "foggy" during chemo and cannot think clearly and also to look back on previous months to see if there is a pattern during treatments on how you feel.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eat what you desire during your treatments. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Exercise when you can - even if it is just a short walk.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are tired - take a nap if you can.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Accept help from those around you - they want to be able to do something for you.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Use your local Cancer charity for all that it offers - they are there for a reason.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Use the 24-hour hotline your consultant has given you to answer any queries you may have, however small, to give you peace of mind.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Know you are entitled to free prescriptions for tablets, creams, sprays, dressings, etc you may need during your treatments.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Speak to the Citizens Advice to know what benefits you are entitled to if you are unable to work.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Speak to Tourist Information to obtain a RADAR key which allows you to use disabled toilets all over the country as sometimes during treatment you may need to go in a hurry!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Register with your local Hospiscare - they provide a wide range of services for you and are there if you just need a chat.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you don't understand the terminology in which your Consultants speaks, ask them to explain it in a way which is easier to understand. Take someone with you to your appointments as often you are given so much information it is hard to take it all in.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take one day at a time.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Try to keep a positive attitude through each day, but remember it is ok to cry as well!</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To someone who is watching a loved one experience this:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hold their hand and reassure them they are still beautiful.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cook them meals for the freezer.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Offer to do their housework/take them to appointments/sit with them to watch TV.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Invite them out for coffee and cake on their good days.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bring them lightly scented/unscented flowers/plants to brighten up their room.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reassure them that if they are too tired or have no energy to speak that this is OK and that you are there for them whenever they need you.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Speak to their partner to make sure he/she is doing OK and if they need anything.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are no two ways about it, cancer is horrible. But, with a positive attitude, a good medical team and supportive friends and family around you, the experience is do-able. Hold your head high and show the world how strong you are. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><u>Write for the blog! </u></strong></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This blog is one of a series being shared on the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog UK during October, breast cancer awareness month, but t</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">he blog is here year round. If you are a young woman in the UK who has/had a breast cancer diagnosis and you would like to be a part of this blog, please have a read of the additional information </span><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/blog-posts-about-breast-cancer.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">here</span></a><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><strong><u>Check your breasts</u></strong></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: #741b47;">Breast cancer can happen to any of us - regardless of age. Information about how to check your breasts can be found on the </span><a href="http://coppafeel.org/boob-check/" target="_blank">Coppafeel</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">and</span> <a href="http://breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/what-are-the-signs-and-symptoms-of-breast-cancer" target="_blank">Breast Cancer Now</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">websites. </span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><strong><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><u>Further information and support:</u></span></strong></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Younger Breast Cancer Network UK</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- an online chat and support group for women under the age of 45 in the UK who have had a breast cancer diagnosis.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSh7toEk1ZUMO989HLBsuog/videos" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Baldly Beautiful</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- a YouTube channel with make up demonstrations, created by Mac makeup artist Andrea Pellegrini who went through chemo herself in 2014.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Takeamomentexhibition?fref=ts" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Take A Moment</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- This is a group for women (all ages) who have/had breast cancer who want to explore, reflect on and express their feelings and experiences through photography. This is a link to the public page - to join the group, send them a message.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="http://www.theosbornetrust.com/" target="_blank">The Osborne Trust</a> - Providing children of parents with cancer the opportunity to access time out recreational activities whilst their parents undergo operations and treatments</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Jensfriendsmastectomypillow?fref=ts" target="_blank">Jen's Friends</a> - Free heart-shaped pillows for women (and men) with Breast Cancer. Designed to provide comfort and protection after a Mastectomy operation.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<br />Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-36572554963778578332015-10-27T18:20:00.000+00:002015-10-27T18:20:01.580+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: How I came to be diagnosed<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Colette</em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>This post is taken from Colette's blog </em></span><a href="https://thebrokenboobie.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>The Broken Boobie</em></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many people have asked how I came to be diagnosed, so I wanted to write a blog about this. I think its important as it may help others.<br /><br />I noticed the lump about last August or September, I don’t remember exactly when as I just thought it was something to do with breastfeeding, a blocked duct or something. Over the following weeks it appeared to come and go, again I wasn’t concerned, it was tiny about the size of a pea, there was no pain, nothing unusual. The only thing that happened but I didn’t even connect them was that on occasion my son would refuse the right side, where the lump was. Breast Cancer was not on my radar, this was something that happened to other people, older people, I only knew of 1 young person who previously had Breast Cancer.<br /><br />Over the Christmas I decided I should go to the doctor and get it checked out, I visited the GP in my work on January 7th, she confirmed that it was nothing to do with breastfeeding, but as routine all lumps get referred for assessment. I had to see my own GP to be referred. 2 days later I seen my own GP, again she confirmed its nothing to do with Breastfeeding. She wasn’t concerned about the lump, she thought it maybe a cyst of some sort, I forget what she called it. So she referred me to the breast clinic in St James. Strangely I was still unconcerned, I never even thought about Breast Cancer.<br /><br />I called the Breast Unit the following week to check on my appointment. They give you the appointment based on the GP’s referral and the consultants review of this. I received an appointment the following week for the 12th February. The letter came with a booklet about what may or may not happen on the day of the appointment and that you may be there for several hours. I was planning been in and out in 2, funny looking back now. The appointment was for 8.30 it was about 2.30 when we got out.<br /><br />I was examined by one my consultants team, she asked me a few questions, I don’t really remember what they were, nothing of major concern. I have no direct family history of Breast cancer, 2 great aunts had it but this is not considered a family history. She felt for the lump but found it hard to find it, I had to put her finger on where it was, I felt a bit silly like it wasn’t even there. The week before I actually considered cancelling the appointment as I couldn’t find the lump for a few days. She didn’t express an opinion as to what it might be but said she would get the consultant to examine me, this was standard practice so I wasn’t concerned she was getting his opinion. On examining me he came to the same conclusion as the GP, put said they would send me for a quick scan to confirm it was nothing of concern.<br /><br />Off we went to the X-Ray department, I had a mammogram first, there was some confusion as the consultant had ordered an Ultrasound. But due to my age (over 35) I was 37 at the time I should have a mammogram first. I had done some research on Mammograms with women that are breastfeeding, they are often not done as they cannot be read. However, this is incorrect in fact it is the training of the people reading them that is not sufficient. So mammogram was done, the lady doing it asked why I was here, I said I have a lump its only tiny though, she said it doesn’t have to be big. These words have stuck in my head. There was a long delay to get the ultrasound, they kept telling me they were waiting for the doctor to look at the mammogram and then carry out the ultrasound. There were a few other women who had come in after me and I was getting frustrated with the nurses as they were going in to have ultrasounds before me, still I was oblivious.<br /><br />I was last to have my ultrasound, the radiographer gave me a quick scan and said she was getting the doctor to have a look, still I was oblivious. So he scanned me and it felt like an age he was going over and over the same areas. There were a few other people in the room, one was a nurse who was asking me where I lived, who I was here with, where did I work, did I have children. I gave the doctor a look and he said he will explain all in a few minutes, more silly questions from the others in the room. Eventually he finished and said they are going to take a biopsy as there appeared to be calcium in the lump, I had no idea what this meant, they prepped me for the biopsy and after a few minutes I asked what this meant, pre-cancer was his reply. Biopsy was done and we were sent off with an appointment to come back the following Wednesday for the results.<br /><br />I spent the next few days googling as you do, researched pre-cancer, dcis, never did I actually think they would tell me I had Breast cancer, this never even occurred to me! Mental looking back on it now. We had an appointment for the Wednesday at 2, there was only 1 or 2 others before us, it was clearly the bad news clinic from the worried look on other faces. We didn’t talk much in the waiting room, I was thinking before going in that if they brought a nurse in then it was bad news, D was thinking the same…. the nurse followed in behind us!<br /><br />The Consultant went over everything we discussed at last appointment, he asked me the same questions over and over, how many children we had, how old they are, how old I am, how long did I breastfeed for, what did I work at, it was so strange it was like he was doubting the answers. He described what the thought he had felt at the last appointment and talked about the tests they carried out and then said I’m sorry to say you have Breast Cancer.<br /><br />If your reading this and have something that you think is nothing going on in your boobs go and see your GP!</span><br />
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Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-84562277585995995622015-10-27T18:15:00.001+00:002015-10-27T18:15:06.374+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Chemo Brain<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Jackie</em></strong> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you’ve ever
had, or been around anyone who’s had, a touch of the Pregnancy Brain or its
natural rite of passage: New Baby Mush, then you are on the way to
understanding the effects of Chemo Brain. Just magnify the lack of cognitive
skills, difficulty in concentrating beyond the fourth word in any sentence and
lack of recall for anything which happened say, over ten seconds ago, and you
start to get the picture.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Experts aren’t
sure what causes Chemo Brain, or if it’s even the chemotherapy itself, or
simply the having cancer and any treatments for it, but it is recognised as a
debilitating side-effect seen in cancer patients. There’s a good article about
it on the Cancer Research UK website here: </span><a href="http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancers-in-general/cancer-questions/chemo-brain"><span style="color: #0563c1; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancers-in-general/cancer-questions/chemo-brain</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
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</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m not your
archetypal control freak. I yearn for those moments where I can take a back
seat because somebody else has taken the reins. But I do like a certain control
in my personal and working life. The moment my to-do list gets a little messy,
it ramps up the stress levels. Chemo Brain certainly added a layer of stress to
my life and I think that if you asked my children what the worst aspect of my
treatment was, they’d say it was having a Mum who was away with the fairies. I
couldn’t retain even the most simple of information – from whether I’d brought
in the milk to where my children were. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And one of the
most stressful things was, wait for it, the washing. Oh yes, when you can’t
remember your teenage daughters having a pair of black skinny jeans <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">to die for</i>, let alone whether they were
dry (or even if you’d washed them) and the party for which they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">must be worn</i> was a few sweet hours away,
it’s depressing. I was used to being on top of such matters, and being on top
of those meant that I could concentrate on arguably more important matters,
such as work. In truth, every time my children flashed me that look of
disappointment that I’d forgotten something, anything, again, it sort of broke
my heart a little bit more. Maybe it was intertwined with being a mother and
having cancer treatment because when you have children (or a partner, friends
or family), it makes you feel like you are a bad mother (or wife, friend,
daughter or sister) sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But please
don’t despair. It gets better. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Almost the
moment the other side-effects of chemo disappeared a couple of weeks after my
final dose, I felt the fog lift a little, too. It would be wrong of me to
pretend that I’m back to the old – skinny jeans you say? What colour? The black
ones are in the machine as we speak, green ones are drying on the airer (I’d
say two hours forty seven minutes and they’ll be dry as a bone) and the grey
ones, sorry, still in the washing bag, we could spray them with Febreze? –
‘all-over-it’ mum. Cancer seems to lodge a lump of goo in your brain as its final
(we hope) hoorah when it leaves. It’s a store for The Cancer Fear to be
dissipated around the body whenever you cough, get a spot or have stiff legs,
and dust an annoying layer of fuzziness over all other thoughts at other times.
I’m afraid hormone treatments, such as Tamoxifen don’t help either. Nor does a chemically-induced,
premature menopause.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But none of
that, categorically none, is a patch on Chemo Brain. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My advice? Be
kind to yourself. It isn’t a failing; it’s a side-effect. It isn’t forever and life
will feel oh so much better when it’s gone. There are strategies to help. Keep
lists, lots of lists, and keep them by you at all times so that you don’t
forget where you’ve put the list (!) Keep healthy too: the endorphins you
release when you exercise are proven to improve cognitive skills and I
certainly write better after a run. And water. I swear water cleans your brain.
No scientific papers will back me up on this but I’ve experienced it myself
regularly, so it must be true. Too much tea? The fog in my head is so heavy I
can practically feel the weight. Glass of water? Instantly lighter. Try it,
seriously, I think water is the ultimate medicine. And educate those around
you. I think my children, even as teenagers, were too young to really understand
what I meant when I said that I couldn’t remember. It was beyond their
comprehension and life experience to imagine how this could be. But friends and
family will understand and they’ll make allowances and even send you helpful
text messages just to make sure you know where you’re supposed to be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hang on in
there! Chemo Brain isn’t as soft and cuddly as it sounds but it also isn’t for
ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jackie blogs at:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
Agenthood and Submissionville <a href="http://jackiebuxton.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" target="_blank">http://jackiebuxton.blogspot.com</a><br />
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And Jackie also has a book out soon which is available now to pre order, called<em><strong> Tea and Chemo: Fighting cancer, living life</strong></em></div>
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<span><a href="https://urbanepublications.com/books/tea-and-chemo-fighting-cancer-living-life/" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" target="_blank">https://urbanepublications.com/books/tea-and-chemo-fighting-cancer-living-life/</a> </span></div>
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<span><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tea-Chemo-Fighting-Cancer-Living/dp/1910692395" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tea-Chemo-Fighting-Cancer-Living/dp/1910692395</a></span></div>
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</span>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-69788729784564915872015-10-26T18:33:00.000+00:002015-10-26T18:33:35.443+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Elizabeth Hurley saved my life <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Jacy T</em></strong><br /><br />Despite the kids now being at school I was always busy, always rushing around. It was only when I found myself getting tired in the day for some reason that I started to sit and eat lunch while watching the news. Fortunately one day Liz Hurley happened to be there. She was talking about breast cancer and how she paid for regular mammograms as her grandmother had died of the disease. Rather unkindly I did think, ‘well we all have to go of something don’t we?’ and ‘aren’t you lucky you can afford to buy mammograms for your friends as presents?’ Even so, it struck a chord with me somewhere. Having suffered a bereavement, two miscarriages and major shoulder surgery I was feeling uncharacteristically pessimistic – nothing would surprise me anymore…<br /><br />I checked my boobs for the first time ever that night and found nothing, phew! However, the following month I found a lump. It didn’t concern me. I had just looked after my friend’s children while she had a biopsy on what transpired to be a cyst and if my lump wasn’t there the month before, it couldn’t be anything else, could it?<br /><br />Convinced that everything would be fine I went to the breast clinic myself. During my ultrasound I tried to engage the friendly but slightly officious radiologist in some conversation, until she suddenly fell silent. “I’m sorry” she said “But that’s not a cyst”. “What is it then?” I asked. “I’m not sure, but it’s definitely not a cyst”. I’m not sure what frightened me the most – her words or that her demeanor changed so much. Suddenly she was kind, softly spoken, perhaps even a little pitying. “Oh my God,’ I thought “I’m f****d”.<br /><br />Now, 9 months on and post treatment I look back at finding the lump as a pivotal moment in my life - but not necessarily one of the worst.<br /><br />Just to clarify – I am not grateful for my disease, I have not discovered God, marathons, triathlons (or anything else with a ‘thon’ in it). I resent the time I wasted feeling like crap and the toll it has taken on both my family and me. It may give me a push to get on and do the things I’ve spent a lifetime promising to do but it has not made me love my children more or led to a greater appreciation of life (although my husband may have changed in this regard!).<br /><br />No, it was not the worst day of my life simply because I DID find it. NOT discovering it would have been so much worse.<br /><br />I ‘got away’ with a lumpectomy and my sentinel lymph node was clear. In breast cancer terms that’s about as good as it gets. There may be steps we can take to reduce the risk of getting this awful disease (I’m certainly not perfect) but there are too many healthy eating, non-smoking, tee-totalers with breast cancer for any of us to EVER be complacent.<br /><br />Girls (and boys) STAY VIGILANT, STAY STRONG and thanks Liz!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><u>Write for the blog! </u></strong></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This blog is one of a series being shared on the Young Women's Breast Cancer Blog UK during October, breast cancer awareness month, but t</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">he blog is here year round. If you are a young woman in the UK who has/had a breast cancer diagnosis and you would like to be a part of this blog, please have a read of the additional information </span><a href="http://youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk/p/blog-posts-about-breast-cancer.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">here</span></a><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><strong><u>Check your breasts</u></strong></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: #741b47;">Breast cancer can happen to any of us - regardless of age. Information about how to check your breasts can be found on the </span><a href="http://coppafeel.org/boob-check/" target="_blank">Coppafeel</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">and</span> <a href="http://breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/what-are-the-signs-and-symptoms-of-breast-cancer" target="_blank">Breast Cancer Now</a> <span style="color: #741b47;">websites. </span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><strong><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><u>Further information and support:</u></span></strong></span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungerBreastCancerNetwork" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Younger Breast Cancer Network UK</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- an online chat and support group for women under the age of 45 in the UK who have had a breast cancer diagnosis.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSh7toEk1ZUMO989HLBsuog/videos" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Baldly Beautiful</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- a YouTube channel with make up demonstrations, created by Mac makeup artist Andrea Pellegrini who went through chemo herself in 2014.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/Takeamomentexhibition?fref=ts" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Take A Moment</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #741b47;">- This is a group for women (all ages) who have/had breast cancer who want to explore, reflect on and express their feelings and experiences through photography. This is a link to the public page - to join the group, send them a message.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="http://www.theosbornetrust.com/" target="_blank">The Osborne Trust</a> - Providing children of parents with cancer the opportunity to access time out recreational activities whilst their parents undergo operations and treatments</span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Jensfriendsmastectomypillow?fref=ts" target="_blank">Jen's Friends</a> - Free heart-shaped pillows for women (and men) with Breast Cancer. Designed to provide comfort and protection after a Mastectomy operation.</span><br />
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<br />Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1324871446661046335.post-85195827661346987962015-10-26T18:32:00.001+00:002015-10-26T18:32:35.018+00:00Breast cancer awareness month: Day zero<div class="yiv9834297264MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><em>Author: Celia M</em></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The woman barked at me to put my clothes in the blue basket, put the gown on. Her manner was rough and rude. She must think I am a time-waster. I am a time waster. I am far too young for all this, mammograms were expensive and NHS resources stretched. Plus I was dressed very unusually and had a dirty dreamy air from being at Glastonbury festival the day before. She opened the door and ushered me into a room dominated by a machine that looked like a giant hole-puncher. <br /><br />Have you had a mammogram before?<br /><br />I shook my head<br /><br />Put your breast between these two plates and then the machine is going to squeeze the breast flat, it might be a little uncomfortable.<br /><br />I did as she said and was pleasantly surprised as when medical professionals say something will be ‘a little uncomfortable’ it usually hurts like fuck. What was a little uncomfortable was how flat my breast managed to get, surely it wasn’t meant to do that at my age? What had breast feeding 2 kids for a year each done to me? Now my boobs were like empty mittens. <br /><br />She then asked me to turn to the side while the machine flattened my breast from another angle.<br /><br />And then as I was picking up my blue basket, it happened. She stared at me, all briskness gone. Too long. And then looked away. Or was I being paranoid? Maybe I was still tired from Glastonbury...<br /><br />I was told to wait outside.<br /><br />I told myself not to be so stupid.<br /><br />And then a man called my name, and he had the look too.<br /><br />Miss M, I am blah-d-blah the radiographer I am just going to do some ultrasounds of your breast. <br /><br />Thank fuck. This was routine. I had read about this. They put the gel on and it reminded me of being pregnant and how I safe I felt in the hospital, and I told myself all was fine.<br /><br />If you wait here then I will be back in a minute.<br /><br />I was left lying on the bed. They had the same curtains as where I had, a year before to the day, given birth to my son in the same hospital. They were clearly designed to represent the city, showcasing exciting features such as the library, rugby club and train station. They had paid someone money to design these: why…?<br /><br />A puffy orange-faced man came in followed by two women.<br /><br />Miss M, I am blah-d-blah the senior radiographer<br /><br />Senior? Oh fuck<br /><br />And we have found something suspicious in your breast<br /><br />Oh fuck<br /><br />And also in your armpit<br /><br />Oh FUCK<br /><br />Everything started melting. I noticed some latex gloves in the background lots and lots of gloves. I might have cancer, Why do they have so many gloves? Its in my lymph nodes. Oh jesus. My eyes started to water.<br /><br />We want to perform what is called a core biopsy, we will insert a needle into the lump and your armpit. We will give you something so the area is numb when we do this. Are you ok for us to do this?<br /><br />I nodded. Not really a question many people say no to I imagine, ah you think I have cancer, well I’ll probably just leave it there if you don’t mind…<br /><br />He left the room. <br /><br />I saw the two women had started collecting things, things in plastic packages, things that looked sharp, things that looked soft, things that looked complicated. And I had an awful sick feeling, like being on the walzters, and reality kept swinging back.<br /><br />No, no, no, this wasn’t happening to me. It is my son’s birthday, he’s 1. One. I wanted to punch everything and run out of the room. But instead I lay motionless and bit back the tears. <br /><br />The radiographer came back.<br /><br />We will use the ultrasound to locate where to place the needle and we will collect 3 samples from each site. We will put the local anaesthetic in the breast now, it will feel a bit like a bee sting. I stared at the gloves. This can’t be right, this isn’t right. No they must have got it wrong. My head drifted out of my body. I was just the meat on my bones. <br /><br />Do you want to hold my hand?<br /><br />One of the women said softly and offered a gloved hand<br /><br />I nodded. The simple kindness of it. I let a silent tear dribble down my cheek and she rubbed the top of my hand. I looked away while the needle, guided by ultrasound and the puffy faced insensitive cunt, repeatedly punched into my chest and armpit. <br /><br />We have finished now. You may get dressed and sit outside. <br /><br />They left the room. Someone guided me to a chair, and then I waited, they gave me a large envelope stuffed with two bottles and instructions to return to surgical outpatients. I went to the toilet on the way and sobbed with my whole body. And like that. Just like that. I had cancer and my life changed forever. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17391198447115872323noreply@blogger.com0