Reflection

Author: Kim F

So I'm sat here on my own, in the dark, reflecting on the last six months. It's been tough. That's one thing that is certain.  

On the 8th October 2014 my life changed forever. My life flashed before my eyes and I instantly thought about my two gorgeous boys having to grow up without me. Very dramatic of me! 

 

I've done the chemotherapy and it was kind to me. Thanks to the wonderful invention of the Cold Cap I was able to keep my hair. This is very important as I was able to look 'normal' to everyone else. And every time I looked in the mirror I saw 'ME'. 

 

I've had to have two surgeries as the first one was unsuccessful.  I am still coming to terms with the loss of my right boob but as soon as it was gone I felt pure relief that Cancer was also gone. 

 

Over the months I have had incredible support from family and friends. There have unfortunately been friends and the occasional family member (they have since rectified this!) that I've hardly heard from which is truly disappointing. But there is a small group of friends that have stuck by me and without them I would have found it extremely hard to keep positive! But I think I've done pretty well to stay so positive. There have been down days but only a few. My wonderful husband has been a rock and for that I thank him. He's been there to hold me when I've had bad thoughts, a bad day or when we've had bad news on my support network. 

 

I still have radiotherapy to go but after that, treatment is done. No drugs to take for 5-10 years. Does that mean I can go back to the life I left behind 6 months ago?? I doubt it. 

I will have one Breast for a minimum of a year so every time I look down I will have a reminder. I will also have the constant paranoia that the Cancer is back....and has spread! This will never go away, it may fade but won't disappear. So I will be living a 'new normal' apparently so other Cancer survivors tell me. 

 

I'm obviously scared of the Cancer coming back but I'm going to try and not let the fear take over my life. I plan to enjoy life with my three favourite boys. Doing things maybe I wouldn't normally do and definitely doing lots of fun things!! 

 

So here's to life and whatever happens, I know I've had a good one!