10 things I miss from my life before breast cancer
1. Hair - washing it, styling it, running my fingers through it, that freshly washed smell, the femininity of it.
2. Living in blissful ignorance - cancer is something that happens to other people, other families. I was fit and healthy, I thought I'd grow old gracefully and die in my sleep in my 90's. Now I face an uncertain future.
3. Exercise - yeah I know, it's mad, lol.
4. Imagining places I wanted to visit one day, thinking about what I might have done when the kids are grown up.
5. Not having to rely on other people. I was Little Miss Independent, I never asked anybody for anything.
6. Normal, boring, non-eventful life, school run, work, pick kids up, dinner, TV, bed.
7. Living without fear, it grabs hold of you when you least expect.
8. Living without guilt. My husband and family don't deserve this shit, my beautiful kids don't deserve this shit.
9. Not thinking every pain is a sign of cancer and knowing that I'll have to get everything checked - the anxiety that surrounds that is fucking shit.
10. Control, I can't control any of this! I hate the loss of control.